[NARRATOR]
How does a blowhard, bastard, son of a bigoted benefactor
Host of the business equivalent of The Bachelor
Pastor the party of family values and sin
With flow so foul you'd think it's shootin' out the wrong end
By song's end he'll hone his own brand
A real-estate mogul, just like his old man
His pop had stole land from folks with no plans
Made out fresh in the depression with Queens in both hands
The floor plans to his mansion had twenty-three rooms
Hired a chef to fill his five children's silver spoons with fancy foods
And ruined 'em, his son was a fool, he put the brute into
An army institute in lieu of high school
Picture this: eyes full of fire, the heir to the empire
Starin' straight down the barrel, his future in peril, he barely made honor roll
Dodged the draft, thankin' his dividends
'Cause anything is possible with pockets full of Benjamins
He grew in ambition, took a position as president
Of his father's complexes for, quote, “Jews and Executives”
But having never abetted a black resident
He fled when the FEDs sued Freddy for prejudice
He was desperate to shed his dad's shadow and move on
Standin' upon the precipice of a brand new Don
A Prodigal Son risin' to answer his true calling
On the East Side horizon one name would glow upon 'em, call him:
[TRUMP]
Donald J. Trump
My name is Donald J. Trump, okay?
And if you think that I'm just having fun
Well, just you wait, just you wait

[NARRATOR]
In a city so corrupt, Trump became a legend
Leveragin' vast tax cuts through his dad's connections
His mob lawyer would step in, with a sordid aggression
Dunk his rivals in court fees, then call up collections
Grew addicted to his reflection the tabloids fed him
Used a pseudonym to let the papers into his bedroom
With his three wives, five kids, nine lives, and one mistress
He watched his hyperbolic empire grow overextended
He built a third casino and spent a billion on it
And when the bankers came a-knockin', he tried to solve it with histrionics
Quadruple bankruptcies, straight Napoleonic
Of his twenty-two assets, only three gleaned a profit
There woulda been no one left to blame for someone less insane
He woulda ejected from the game if he had a single ounce of shame
Started divin' in, siphonin' several million off the backend
Fightin' off the bankers to keep his debt from collapsin'
He cashed in the last thing he had to his name
Staked his claim with The Apprentice, saved again by his last name (Ooh)
Made his way into politics, claimed Obama was alien
Told a lie so salient a third of us are still sayin' it
[COMPANY]
Donald J. Trump-ilton (Donald J. Trump-ilton)
We are waiting in our homes for you (Waiting in our homes for you)
How the hell did it come to this?
Is America just that pissed?
The world is really run by dicks, oh

[NARRATOR]
His Bentley's in the parking lot, see if you can meet him (Just you wait)
Making a trademark a week after Romney's defeated (Just you wait)
“Make America Great Again”, say it just like you mean it

[HILLARY/PELOSI]
We fought with him

[MCCONNEL/BANNON/PENCE/HANNITY]
Me? I worked for him

[AMERICA]
Eh, I died for him

[IVANA, MARLA, MILANIA, PUTIN]
I fucked him

[CORONAVIRUS]
And me? I'm the damn flu that got him
[COMPANY]
And if you think that he's just havin' fun, just you wait

[BIDEN]
Now, what's your name again?

[TRUMP]
Donald J. Trump