[Intro: Kangol Kid & EMD]
Yeah, what's up man?
There goes that girl they call Roxanne, she's all stuck up
Why do you say that?
'Cause she wouldn't give a guy like me no rap
[Verse 1: Kangol Kid]
Man, she was walking down the street so I said "Hello
I'm Kangol from UTFO," and she said "So?"
And I said "So!? Baby don't you know?
I can sing, rap, and dance in just one show
'Cause I'm Kangol, Mr. Sophisticata
As far as I know ain't nobody greater
From beginning to end and to beginning
I never lose because I'm all about winning
But if I was to lose I wouldn't be upset
'Cause I'm not a gambler, I don't bet
I don't be in no casino, and baby, while you knizzow
That izzi is the grizzeat Kizzangizzol"
I thought she'd be impressed and give me devious rap
I thought I had her caught inside my sinister trap
I thought it'd be a piece of cake but it was nothing like that
I guess that's what I get for thinking, ain't that right, black?
Then trizzy to cizzome and see nizzumber wizzone
Crizzew rizzockin' tizzo a vizzan just like a gizzun
With a "bang, bang", brother I feel bad
But I ain't committing suicide for no crab
Calling her a crab is just a figure of speech
'Cause she's an apple, a pear, a plum, and a peach
I thought I had it in the palm of my hand
But man, oh man, if I was grand I'd bang Roxanne
Roxanne, Roxanne, can't you understand?
Roxanne, Roxanne, I wanna be your man
[Verse 2: EMD & Kangol Kid]
Yo Kangol, I don't think that you're dense
But you went about the matter with no experience
You should know, she doesn't need a guy like you
She needs a guy like me with a high IQ
And she'll take to my rap, 'cause my rap's the best
The Educated Rapper MD will never fess
So when I met her, I wasted no time
But stuck up Roxanne paid me no mind
She thought my name was Barry, I told her it was Gary
She said she didn't like it so she chose to call me Barry
She said she'd love to marry, my baby she would carry
And if we had a baby, we'd name the baby Harry
Her mother's name is Mary, which is really quite contrary
Her face is really hairy, and you can say it's scary
She lives in Mt. Airy, her father's a fairy
His wife's a secretary, his son's in military
They forced him to enlist, I guess it wasn't voluntary
His daughter's name is Sherry, his sons are Tom and Jerry
Jerry had the flu but it was only temporary
Back in January, or was it February?
But every time I say this rhyme it makes me kinda weary
It's only customary to give this commentary
Some say it's bad, some say it's legendary
You search it all you want, try your local library
You'll never find a rhyme like this in any dictionary
But do you know, after all that
All I received was a pat on my back
That's what you get, it happened to me
Ain't that right Mixmaster I-C-E
[Verse 3: Doctor Ice & EMD]
You thought you had her roped, you thought you was Cupid
But EMD, your rap was plain stupid
I know you're educated, but when will you learn?
Not all girls want to be involved with bookworms
You gotta be strong in a way she can't resist
So Educated Rapper, huh, bust this
Since she's a new girl around the block
I had to let her know I was the debonair Doc
I said "I'd like to speak with you, if I can
And if I'm correct, (I) hear your name is Roxanne."
She said "How'd you know my name?" I said "It's getting around
Right now, baby, you're the talk of the town
Please let me walk you to the corner, my rap will be brief"
She said "I've seen you before, you look like a thief"
I said "Me? The Doc? A hood, a rock?
Running 'round the street robbing people on the block?
Nah, that's not my style, to crime I'm not related
As far as I'm concerned I'm too sophisticated."
Then it seemed I got through 'cause she cracked a smile
That let me know my rap was worth her while
She said "You call yourself a doctor?" I said "This is true"
She said "Explain to me really what doctors must do"
I said "This is very rare 'cause I don't say this every day
There's a million medical skills a doctor displays
Dermatology is treatment of the skin
Infected and you'll see me, you will never again
There's enthesiology, ophthalmology
Internal medicine and plastic surgery
Orthopedic surgery and pathology
A disease caused by the change of the body"
She said "Ooooh, that's very unique"
Gave me her number and kissed me on the cheek
She said she had to go but she'd be back by 8
Told me call her at 9 to arrange a date
Did you take her to the beach?
That's what we planned
But she stood me up, Roxanne, Roxanne
Roxanne, Roxanne, I wanna be your man
Roxanne, Roxanne, and here's our gameplan
The beat is here, so we will reveal it
And if you think it's soft, then Roxanne feel it!
[Beat boxing and scratching]