[Tramp]
I have learned me a little lesson
That I didn't think I could
Don’t waste your time in guessin'
If the man tells you it's good, it’s good!

If the cereal chips the table
And it tastes like kindling wood
Don't argue with the label
If the man tells you it's good, it's good

If the skin food eats your skin
If the hair oil eats your brain
If the liver pills act like a Mickey Finn
Don't complain
Listen to the man and don't complain/

If there's kerosene in your gargle
Be it clearly understood
Who arе you to argle-bargle?
If the man tеlls you it's good, it’s good
Yes, if the man tells you it’s good, it's good!

When whatever you eat is frozen
And its flavor chills your chest
Though not what you would have chosen
If the man tells you it’s fresh, it's fresh
So you swallow a headache tablet
And it leaves you with the jerks
Don't fold like a soft-shell crablet
If the man tells you it works, it works

When your toothpaste kills your teeth
When your sheets turn tell-tale gray
When your coffee grows boils on your underneath
Leave it lay
Listen to the man and leave it lay

If a columnist spreads the rumors
That Du Barry sleeps with you
Go dig up some perfumed bloomers
If the man tells you it's true, it’s true
Yes, if the man tells you it's true, it's true!

You suspect in your blended whiskey
That the neutral grain is wood, (Oh!)

[Solomon Bundy]
Don't think that a drink is risky!

[Tramp]
Right!
If the man tells you it's good, it's good
[Solomon Bundy]
Let us issue a full diploma
To the brain who wrote the ad
Insulting to our aroma

[Both]
If the man tells you it's bad, it's bad

[Tramp]
When your shockproof watch gets broke

[Solomon Bundy]
When your plastic pen won't fill

[Tramp]
When you're fireproof home disappears in smoke
Pay the bill

[Both]
Listen to the man and pay the bill!

[Tramp]
By an artist your wife is spellbound
And she greets him in the n***
Don't holler that she is hell-bound
If the man tells you she's gude, she's gude
[Both]
Yes, if the man tells you she's gude, she's gude!