[DAVE, spoken]:
Oh my god...John...
The baby...is a baby...is a baby...

[JOHN, spoken]:
Dave, you're losing your water break. We can't go to the hospital now!

[DAVE, spoken]:
You're right, there's no time. 
We must go to Mount Prospit, where I myself was born. 

[JOHN, spoken]:
You were born in a lab, Dave, and I'm your lab daddy. 

[DAVE, spoken]:
Just shut up, Dad, 'cause you're my baby now. 
And you're the one that's gonna have man titties in your face...

[JOHN, spoken]:
What?

[DAVE, spoken]:
Man titties in your face!

[JOHN, spoken]:
No, no, gross...
[DAVE, spoken]:
Man titties in your faaace...

[JOHN, spoken]:
Dave, put your fucking shirt on!

[DAVE, spoken]:
Man titties...

[JOHN, spoken]:
I'm not even born yet, that's not fair!

[DAVE, spoken]:
Oh my god. 
Someone needs to deliver this baby...RIGHT NOW. 

[KARKAT, spoken]:
I can do that. 

[JOHN, spoken]:
Karkat, what the fuck are you doing?

[KARKAT, spoken]:
Delivering babies...I did it once. I can do it again. 

[JOHN, spoken]:
Leave it up to me, Karkat. 
[KARKAT, spoken]:
No. No, I can't, you're...a baby. 
I must do this, I must be the...midwife. 
John, there are some things you can't know. 

[JOHN, spoken]:
Like what?

[DAVE, spoken]:
Please just reach inside me. 

[KARKAT, spoken]:
Let's sing a fucking song. 
(sung)
Once upon a time
On top of a mountain
A baby was sitting in a water fountain
His name was Dave and he was supreme
His booties were covered in peaches and cream
That story, today, is totally...irrelevant...
I'm a troll
And John
I wanna fuck you out of hate
I wanna fuck you out of hate 'cause I'm Karkat
(spoken)
MMmmMMMMmmmm!
[DAVE, spoken]:
Oh my god, please stop this singing shit. 
I have to have this baby now! Ah!

[KARKAT, spoken]:
MMmmMMMMmmmm! Mmmmm...