[Verse 1]
The mongrel cat came home
Holding half a head
Proceeded to show it off
To all his newfound friends
He said, "I've been where I liked
I've slept with who I like
She ate me up for breakfast
She screwed me in a vice
But now

[Chorus]
I don't know why I
Feel so tongue-tied"

[Verse 2]
I sat in the cupboard
And wrote it down in neat
They were cheering and waving, cheering and waving
Twitching and salivating like with myxomatosis
But it got edited, fucked up
Strangled, beaten up
Used as a photo in Time magazine
Buried in a burning black hole in Devon

[Chorus]
I don't know why I
Feel so tongue-tied
Don't know why I
Feel so skinned alive
[Verse 3]
My thoughts are misguided and a little naïve
I twitch and I salivate like with myxomatosis
You should put me in a home, or you should put me down
I got myxomatosis, I got myxomatosis
Yeah, no one likes a smartass, but we all like stars' attention
Wasn't my intention (for a reason), I did it for a reason, (reason)
It must have got mixed up, strangled, beaten up
I got myxomatosis, I got myxomatosis

[Chorus]
I don't know why I
Feel so tongue-tied

[Instrumental Outro]

One, two, three, four!