[Chapter 1: The Most Gigantic Lying Mouth of All Time]
*The Most Gigantic Theme plays*
[Chapter 2: Hosting]
*5th's Reversed plays*
Hello, welcome to the most gigantic lying mouth of all time. All the footage you're about to see has been pre-watched, by adults
[Chapter 3: Short Film DVD]
*Try To Save Your Prize plays*
*Text*
ALL
TAPES
HAVE
BEEN
ERASED
I'M
SORRY
FOR
US
DON'T
LOOK
WORRIED
AND
UNHINGED
I'M
STRUNG
UP
BY
THE
WRISTS
SKINNED
ALIVE
NOTHING
IS
EVER
GOOD
ENOUGH
FROZEN
OPPORTUNIST
FIRING
SNIDE
REMARKS
TAKE
YOU
DOWN
PITCH
DARK
PRESIDENT
POINTLESS
SCATTERBRAIN
DRAGGING
HALF
A
HEAD
*Jonny' holds up a sign*
NOW WE SEE YOU
[Chapter 4: The Cat Girl]
*2 + 2 = 5 plays*
[Chapter 5: The Slave]
[Instrumental]
[Chapter 6: Myxomatosis]
*"Myxomatosis" plays*
[Verse 1]
The mongrel cat came home
Holding half a head
Proceeded to show it off
To all his newfound friends
He said, I been where I liked
I slept with who I like
She ate me up for breakfast
She screwed me in a vice
But now
[Chorus]
I don't know why I
Feel so tongue-tied
[Verse 2]
I sat in the cupboard
And wrote it down in neat
They were cheering and waving, cheering and waving
Twitching and salivating like with myxomatosis
But it got edited, fucked up
Strangled, beaten up
Used in a photo in Time magazine
Buried in a burning black hole in Devon
[Chorus]
I don't know why I
Feel so tongue-tied
Don't know why I
Feel so skinned alive
[Outro]
My thoughts are misguided and a little naïve
[Chapter 7: My Showbiz Life: Thom Yorke/There There (Demo)]
[My Showbiz Life: Thom Yorke out of Radiohead]
Thom Yorke: This is the stupidest thing you've ever done, Daryll
Daryll: Thank you, good afternoon (laughs) is it afternoon or morning? No, it's Mor- Evening
Thom Yorke: Morning, Good Evening, is it- is it? Evening, yes it's Evening yeah
Daryll: So, Good Evening Thom
Thom Yorke: Hi
Daryll: What's the last freebie you ever got, and how did you get it?
Thom Yorke: Ah, last freebie I've got was um, a Russian egg. Uhh, some big fish in Microsoft I don't know the name of
Daryll: Very good!
Thom Yorke: I would like to go to Russia!
Daryll: What's the most money you've blown in a single day?
Thom Yorke: Oo, uhh. *silence*
Daryll: Next question
Thom Yorke: 6 fluffy [?]
*tape rewind sound*
Daryll: What was the last time you used your celebrity status to get something?
Thom Yorke: (laughs) S- uh, uh *thinks* yesterday, uh I got some free petrol
[There There (Demo)]
[Chorus]
Just 'cause you see it
Doesn't mean it's there
There, there!
[Verse]
I trapped you
But I could never win
I'm impossible to change and yet
I could never win
[Chorus]
Just 'cause you see it
Doesn't mean it's there
Just 'cause you see it
Doesn't mean it's there
There there!
[Instrumental Outro]
[Chapter 8: Short Film DVD]
*Backdrifts starts to play then ends abruptly*
*Text*
I
WILL
EAT
YOU
WE
CAN
WIPE
YOU
OUT
WE
KNOW
WHERE
YOU
LIVE
[Chapter 9: When An Angel Tries to Sell You Something (Directed by Rick Hind & Ajit N. Rao)]
*Text* THE TRIPTI ENSEMBLE CREW
In association with SPIN-O-VISION
La proud to present to you and all the nice people...
THE TRIPTI ENSEMBLE CREW
IN "WHEN AN ANGEL TRIES TO SELL YOU SOMETHING"
Featuring from 1973 the original line-up
Chances
Chillbit
Dj Angel
MC Spark Vibe
Sveesvee and Neietch
MC π
TJ SMILES
And from the year 2040...
Redfro Sr
[Verse: MC π]
Angel tries to sell you something
M'wakes you up on Sunday morn'n
Smiles like smiles, he begs to angel
Singing like ya supposed to do-do
Stuck alone, insane encasement
Under a lot of noise or something
Looking like a Sunday mourner
I don't know nothing b- bout it
I only hope they're coming!
And I know it won't get you
[Unintelligible]
[Chapter 10: Skyscape (Directed by Vernie Yeung)]
*Printer/Fax sound effects, but REMIXED*
[Chapter 11: Sit Down. Stand Up (Music Video)]
[Chorus]
Sit down, stand up
Sit down, stand up
[Verse 1]
Walk into the jaws of hell (sit down)
Walk into the jaws of hell (stand up)
Anytime (sit down)
Anytime (stand up)
[Chorus]
Sit down, stand up
Sit down
[Verse 2]
Hey, we can wipe you out anytime (stand up)
We can wipe you out (sit down)
Anytime
Anytime
[Interlude]
Stand up
Sit down
[Outro]
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
The raindrops, the raindrops
[Chapter 12: Morning m'lord (Good Morning Mr. Magpie (Demo))]
*Sail to the Moon starts playing, then fades out*
[Speaking]
This song is called, uh, "Good Morning Mr. Magpie", or "Morning m'lord"
[Verse]
You know you should, but you don't
You know you should, but you don't
You got some nerve coming here
You got some nerve coming here
[Refrain]
Good morning, Mr. Magpie
How are we today?
Now you've stolen all the magic
And took my melodies
[Instrumental Outro]
[Chapter 13: Credits]
Chieftan Mews: If you would like to contact us at the most gigantic lying mouth of all time, please write to us stating your age
Just your age
*Chernobyl 2 plays*
*text*
The presenter CHIEFTAN MEWS
The music (in chronological order)
The most Gigantic Theme by TIM BRAN
5ths Reversed by RADIOHEAD
Try to save Your Prize by RADIOHEAD
"2 + 2 = 5" by RADIOHEAD (Chapter 4)
"Myxomatosis" by RADIOHEAD
"Where I End and You Begin" by RADIOHEAD
"There there" by RADIOHEAD
"Backdrifts" by RADIOHEAD
"The Amazing Sounds of Orgy" by RADIOHEAD
"When An Angel Tries To Sell You Something" by THE TRIPTI ENSEMBLE CREW (Chapter 9)
Sample from "Symphony #1 For Dot Matrix Printers" by THE USERS (Chapter 10)
"Sit Down. Stand Up." by RADIOHEAD (Chapter 11)
"Sail to the Moon" by RADIOHEAD (Chapter 12)
"Morning m'lord" by RADIOHEAD (Chapter 12)
"Chernobyl 2" by RADIOHEAD (Chapter 13)
The directors
EBBA ERIKZON (Chapter 4)
JAMES FIELD (Chapter 5)
RICK HIND (Chapter 9)
AJIT N. RAO (Chapter 9)
VERNIE YEUNG (Chapter 10)
ED HOLDSWORTH (Chapter 11)
The artwork
STANLEY DONWOOD
DR TCHOCK
The writers
CHRIS BRAN
STANLEY DONWOOD
RADIOHEAD
The producer
DILLY GENT
The director
CHRIS BRAN
The end
