[Intro]
I'm only 13 years old and I like to produce dubstep
I've been producing for about 2 days and I think this is the best dubstep track ever made
Holy shit this is the best dubstep track I've ever made and I just got FL Studio demo version
Mainstream dubstep all sounds the same, so mine is just really different

Samples and presets are too expensive so all of my stuff is from scratch
I don't like to watch tutorials so I can figure out how to make my own sounds
I don't want to sound like any other producer so I don't try to imitate them
Hey man check out my track, it's the best dubstep track ever made
I'm gonna go ahead and post this comment on every one of your tracks

[Verse 1]
Stop
Your bass sounds are really low quality
These VSTs so obsolete
You can't go with a demo version of
A program stolen with BitTorrent

Don't add so much distortion
Louder doesn't mean it's better sorted
And be sure to sidechain the bass to the kick
So it doesn't clip in its place

Then you separate all the highs and the lows
With an equalizer to divide what sounds go where
To make a sweet Dub track
You got to take the time to learn from scratch
Watch tutorials, read some forums
It should be as high of quality
As those who made you want
To start producing right?

Your snares and kicks are bad
You need a sample pack
Of sounds that have a little depth and punch
Cause your track isn't best with demo drums

(Drum packs are expensive man)
Then why are you producing then?
If you're not willing to spend loose change or cash
You're not serious about producing tracks

(I make my synths from scratch)
That's sick, but they sound like crap
You don't need to use a preset patch
But learn how they made it so it sounds like that

(Fuck you, I worked hard on this)
You just asked for my thoughts on it
I'm trying to help but if you're gonna get mad
Go ahead and be an ass and good luck with that

It's really not complex
Just take the things I said and add a little sweep and
Double up the kicks then make sure that
It sounds something like this
[Dubstep]

[Verse 2]
Everything should peak around -3db
For the mix when you're mastering
(I never master my tracks) That explains a lot
It sounds like trash cans and machine gun shots

(I don't want to sound like everybody else)
There's a thousand producers like yourself
Who make shit tracks, spam the walls of producers
Who want to take time on songs

You don't want to sound very mainstream
But you call it dubstep, it should be high quality
Sounding like shit doesn't make you rare
If it's boring, conforming, then no one will care

Be unique with good VSTs
Drum samples, and good mixing
Do some research for mixing headphones
And studio monitors in your bedroom

This shit is not complex
Listen to what I said
(Hey Josh, so I took your advice and made this track)
(I think it sounds nice)
[Dubstep]

[Outro]
Holy crap, you really came back
Glad you took what I said and made that (thanks)
Yeah I could definitely make a rap
Wait a minute, I'm the one that made this track (what?)

You stole my free download
And told people it was your own
Hello? Hello?
Where'd he go?