I do believe it's coming
Don't dread its approach
The only preference I might have is that I
Hope to see it

It could start with an invasion
Or maybe a creeping flood
The bomb's so boring
I wanna see some blood

There'll be people in the streets
I mean the ones that live in houses
I wanna see them screaming
"Holy mother, sweet Jesus"

I may seem a bit morbid
Which I don't really care to deny
'Cause when it hits, I'll be laughing
And you'll just start to cry

Young and old and middle-aged
Domesticated creatures as well
There are other ways to look at this
Than a state of living Hell

As your friends, relatives, and acquaintances
Perish in catastrophe
Just think of it as the best movie
You could ever hope to see
It's got action, violence
Few rapes in there too
Starvation, whole nations
And it's all for me and you

It's got everything you wanted
Plus, admission is free
There's only one catch
It's compulsory

What I'd like to say to you
Unequivocally, is that I've
Got a brand new movement
It's called "pro-catastrophe"

You could join me, denounce me
I really don't care
'Cause pro-catastrophe is not
Something we need to share

Something we need to
Something we need to share