[Verse 1: Gareth & Kim, Gareth]
But let's talk about you for a minute
With the vomit in your gullet
From the half-bottle of vodka
That we'd stolen from the Optic
On the back seat in your car
Because it wasn't safe to start it
You were "Far too fucked to drive"
Were the words that you imparted
And the woollen dress that clung so tight
To the contours of your body
And the dead grass stuck to fibres
From us rolling in the lay-by
Were passed to dog-haired blankets
That protected the bench seat covers
And the crucifix was hung
From rear-view mirror by your mother

[Verse 2: Gareth]
I'm leaving my body to science
Not medical, but physics
Drag my corpse through the airport
And lay me limp on the left wing
Drop me at the highest point and trace a line around
The dent I leave in the ground
That'll be the initial of the one you will marry
Now I'm not around
I flew for seven hours
The sky didn't once turn black
[Bridge: Gareth]
You know I'd sooner go down in a ball of flames
Than I would lay here and be bored to death
All's well that ends

[Outro: Gareth & Kim, Gareth]
I wake from sleep, my head and shoulder
Were wet against the window
A frost had formed and melted, soaked me
Right through to my collarbone
If you were given the option
Of dying painlessly in peace at forty-five
But with a lover at your side
After a full and happy life
Is this something that would interest you?
Would this interest you at all?

[Spoken Outro: Gareth & Ellen]
Cheers. Ellen Campesinos!

Hi, I haven't really spoken into a microphone much during my seven year career in the band, but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone in Los Campesinos! for being, my family for seven years and just being genuinely amazing people and just experiencing things with me which, I, I just didn't think my life was gonna be like this and I'm so lucky and I feel really blessed and thanks for coming and, uh, I just wanna say thanks to my mum for, you know, telling me I could do whatever I wanted and being proud of me and I love you guys and yeah, thanks

I realise that we should say something as well but, what can you say? It's nothing. Um, we would like to invite, uh, this is Aleks and, uh, Ellen, Ellen didn't know that Aleks was gonna do this. So, um, the main reason that we invited Aleks is, we're gonna play an old song that I might not remember the words to, but Aleks might. Uh, we really hate it, so just please pretend you really like it...