[Verse 1: Gareth]
I came two weeks before Christ
Not tender nor mild, from the womb I came a-wailing “Silent Night“
But I'll give you something to believe in
You’ll see three ships sailing in
I'm a frail evergreen, be a bauble a-hanging off of me
Pine needles a-pricking at your bare feet

[Pre-Chorus: Gareth, Gareth & Kim]
I'll be anything you want of me, a carrot nosed encased in snow
An angel teetering atop a tree, vomiting from vertigo

[Chorus: Gareth]
If you’ll be mine for Christmas
A doe to a deer
I'll be home for Christmas
And home will be here

[Verse 2: Gareth]
I'm three sheets to the wind
But the wind is a sleet, and this sheet ain't one of snow to play beneath
And my nose is red from the whiskey
I'm Boxing Day game away
Shirtless cherubs on the terrace, singing hymns, praying the saviour scores today
And that he is one, but not the only
[Pre-Chorus: Gareth, Gareth & Kim]
I'll be anything you want of me, a carrot nosed encased in snow
An angel teetering atop a tree, vomiting from vertigo

[Chorus: Gareth]
If you'll be mine for Christmas
A doe to a deer
I'll be home for Christmas
And home will be here

[Bridge: Gareth & Kim]
If you’re looking for me, follow any star
’Cause I will be around, no matter where you are
I'm CCTV video late night on Christmas Eve, window shopping in full Santa suit, blind drunk on the High Street
Never got a gift, gold, frankincense or myrrh
And never would’ve cared if you could just have her
I'm Christmas morning stumbling home up the cul-de-sac
Flanked by kids upon new bikes, stabilising my walk back

[Pre-Chorus: Gareth & Kim]
I'll be anything you want of me, a carrot nosed encased in snow
An angel teetering atop a tree, vomiting from vertigo

[Chorus: Gareth]
If you'll be mine for Christmas
A doe to a deer
I’ll be home for Christmas
And home will be here
If you'll be mine for Christmas
A doe to a deer
If you'll be mine for Christmas
If you'll be mine for Christmas