Rachel Bloom
I Love My Daughter (But Not In A Creepy Way)
[DARRYL]
Daddy’s little girl, princess of my world
I never knew a beauty like this before
So clever and cute, an angel with an attitude
I want her, all mine, all of the time
I know songs like this can come off weird
But there’s nothing weird about helping daddy trim his beard
Dads do that!
‘Cause I love my daughter, but not in a creepy way
Though I realize father/daughter love comes off that way
I just love my daughter—but again, not in a creepy way
The father/daughter dance, surrounded by adorable girls
But there’s only one that’s got my eye
Her feet on my shoes, her hands on my hips
Yeah, it’s a weird visual, now that I think of it
I know lines like that can skeeve people out
But when it comes to tickling, woo-hoo!
She ‘bout to get it now!
I’m very careful where I tickle my daughter
Never inappropriately
I can see how that came out a bit confusingly
I just love my daughter
But seriously, not in a creepy way
One day she’ll fall in love, and I’ll give her away—
Not like I ever had her, what a weird thing to say
I can see it now, she’ll look just like her Mom—
Granted, I did have sex with her Mom—
Oh, but this is different--
‘Cause I love my daughter, but not in a love-love way
Do you get what I—ugh!
What I mean to say is—
I’ll just stop talking
Having a daughter is weird