Rachel Bloom
I Gave You a UTI
[GREG]
What's that burnin' feelin'
Every time you pee?
Well, that's how it goes
After you have so
Much awesome sex with me!
 
I gave you
A UTI!
Yeah, I gave you
A UTI!
 
My sweet love injection
Caused a urinary tract infection!
I'm just that good
I didn't even try, try, try
I gave you a UTI!
 
[REBECCA]
Okay, so it's not really a comment on the quality of the sex as much as a lot of sex has been happening and there's just a very natural transfer of bacteria—
 
[GREG]
Don't ruin this for me!
 
That bladder inflammation
Is my little gift to you!
Yeah, sometimes chicks need medication
After what I put them through!
 
C'mon, sing with me!
 
[REBECCA]
No, I'm not gonna do that
 
[GREG]
I gave you—I gave you
A UTI—a UTI!
Yeah, I gave you—I gave you
A UTI—a UTI!
 
I'm so good at sex
Your maidenship got wrecked!
My penis is the reason you may die, die, die!
I gave you a UTI!
 
One night with me is pure ecstasy
'Cause I know just what you like
But you should know for a week or so
You won't be able to ride a bike!
 
I'm sorry if you have to cancel that spin class. I'll pay the cancellation fee because I know a lot of times, you have to book the specific bike in advance. Anyway...
 
I gave you—I gave you
A UTI—a UTI!
Not an STD—no STDs!
Just to clarify
 
If it hurts to take a leak
Well, that's just part of my technique
What has two thumbs and gave you a UTI?
This guy!
I gave you a UT—
I gave you a UT—
I gave you—
A U...
T...
I!