[JOSH]
I banged you here

And on this couch

In the doorway

On every stair 
[GREG]
I nailed you there

And on this chair

The hallway[BOTH]
We tapped that ass all over this house 
[JOSH]
Though never simultaneously[GREG]
Sometimes him, sometimes me

But one of us was hittin' it, usually[BOTH]
We tapped that ass all over this house

You'll never escape us
'Cause we live in your head
Just two swell dudes that you screwed 
[JOSH]
And here

And here[GREG]
Here

And there[BOTH]
And even occasionally in your bed

[JOSH, spoken]
That bed is really uncomfortable. 

[GREG, spoken]
Right? It's like a prison cot. [JOSH]
On the stove

And sort of in the fridge
One time I think

That's where we hit your back pati—
Oh! 
[GREG]
Over the sink


And then we hit the back patio


Oh![BOTH]
We tapped that ass all over this house
How many times did we tap that behind?

[GREG]
Well, let's estimate

[JOSH]
On an average day, I would have to say
Mmm... a-5, 6, 7, 8!

[GREG, spoken]
What? Too cheeky?

[JOSH, spoken]
Hey, does this ring a bell?
(sung)
"A little to the left..."

[GREG]
"Oh, oh, okay now, a little to the right..."

[JOSH]
"Oh, oh, wait, wait, back to the left..."

[GREG]
"Right there! Right there!"
[JOSH]
"Wait, no, you're doing it wrong! I'll do it myself!"

[GREG, spoken]
Barkeep, what's on tap?

[REBECCA, spoken]
It's me. And my ass. 

[GREG, spoken]
Ooh, sounds refreshing![JOSH]
On the table you were willing and able

And on the safe in the closet
I made a deposit 
[GREG]
On the ottoman
You took a lotta man[XANDER]
I also tapped that ass all over this house!

[JOSH, spoken]
Let's wrap this up with a big finish!

[GREG, spoken]
But where should we finish?

[REBECCA, spoken]
Please not on my chest... no, you'll scratch it! 
[JOSH]
On the bathroom floor

You just wanted more[GREG]
On the accent wall

You didn't care where[BOTH]
How much more tappin' could one ass endure?
We tapped that ass (tapped that ass)
We tapped that ass (tapped that ass)
We tapped that ass all over this house!