I've thought about him for so long
Those memories are crystal clear
I was so young, he was so big and strong
I can't believe that he's right here
I was such an innocent girl
When we first met
He opened up my eyes, showed me a whole new world
So how could I ever forget
The first penis I saw

[Chorus]
First penis, very first penis
First penis, very first penis I saw
First penis, very first penis, penis
First penis, very first penis I saw

And of all the penises I've seen
His had the biggest impact
And by that what I mean
Is it really made me drop my jaw
'Cause it was the very first penis I saw

A few times before, I'd felt it through his pants
And just generally kinda rubbed it
But that night I decided to take a chance
I took it out, and he really seemed to love it
I didn't know what to do next
I didn't have that part planned
He said, "Let me show you some basic moves,"
And then he took my hand
And taught me all about the
[Chorus]
First penis, very first penis
First penis, very first penis I saw
First penis, very first penis, penis
First penis, very first penis I saw

Not the dirtiest, also not the cleanest
In terms of penis, I really was the greenest
I was in total awe
Of the very first penis I saw

He's coming! Bail on the turntable!

I was so eager, I couldn't hide my keenness
Everything about it seemed quite ingenious
I couldn't find a single flaw
In the first penis, very first penis
Very first penis I saw