Rachel Bloom
My Sperm Is Healthy [Explicit]
[Darryl]
My sperm is nice and healthy
In terms of sperm I’m wealthy
Like an oil magnate
When I ejaculate
That’s what the doctors tell me!
My point is, in a nut shell
Each time I nut, I nut well!
I’ve got the quantity and the quality
No IUD is stopping me!
‘Cause my semens steaming
Like a demon and all
The surrogates are screaming:
“Just give me some
Of that premium grade
Baby batter!”
I never splatter!
My sperm, my sperm is
No cause for concern!
My sperm is healthy!
My sperm is healthy!
Aw shucks!
Gee whiz!
I got that high end jizz!
My sperm is healthy!
My sperm is healthy!
My sperm is healthy
Even though I’m no teenager
My boys still throw a rager!
They get bottle service
In every cervix
Blowing eggs up like a pager!
Every lady’s getting fertilized!
Got a diaphragm?
It’s getting pulverized!
When I come, I come like the sun
So wear special glasses or avert your eyes!
Give thanks my tanks
Not shooting blanks!
I’m in a league of my own
Just like Tom Hanks!
Not a castaway
But I blast away
That thing I do
Is going up in you!
My sperm, my sperm
The test have all confirmed!
[Employees]
His sperm is healthy!
His sperm is healthy!
[Darryl]
Aw shucks!
Gee whiz!
I got that magic jizz!
My sperm is healthy!
My sperm is healthy!
My sperm is healthy