[RESHMA]
Fluoxetine, fluoxetine!

[LOU]
Paroxetine, paroxetine!

[MELINDA]
Citalopram, citalopram!

[RESHMA, LOU, AND MELINDA]
Take once a day
Fluoxetine, fluoxetine
Paroxetine, paroxetine
Citalopram, citalopram
May cause dry mouth

[DR. AKOPIAN]
From the moment that we learn to walk and speak
Our parents tell us everyone's unique
Now, I’m not saying that advice is bad
But honey, you're not special 'cause you’re sad

[RESHMA, LOU, AND MELINDA]
Not special, no you're not

[DR. AKOPIAN]
The butcher, the baker, the grocery clerk
They're all on 20 milligrams or so
[MOVER]
The movers

[BARTENDER]
The shakers

[JAYMA]
The happy homemaker

[DR. AKOPIAN]
You'd be surprised how many of them you know

[ALL]
Anti-depressants are so not a big deal
Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant

[DR. AKOPIAN]
Sweet cheeks, here's the deal

[ALL]
Welcome to the club with open admission
You're cast in the play that has no audition
Yes, everyone is special, that's usually the sitch
But when it comes to meds, you’re such a basic bitch

[BUTCHER]
I lost my job and for six months, I couldn’t leave my bed, yeah!
[LOU]
When my husband died, I stopped bathing and watched Christian TV instead, ooh!

[BUTCHER AND LOU]
Now we're on pills and it’s less of a slog

[DR. AKOPIAN]
Just ask any abused rescue dog

[CONNOR]
Bark

[ALL]
The origins of life are messy and imprecise

[DR. AKOPIAN]
We're all the result of natural selection

[REBECCA]
True! So why should I feel crappy
About something that makes me happy?

[BAKER]
Though it may be hard to maintain an erection

[ALL]
Maybe you should adjust your dosage!
[BAKER]
I already tried that, didn't work

[ALL]
Have you tried another medication?

[BAKER]
Yep, but that one made me gain weight

[ALL]
Oh, that totally happened to me. It got better within a few months

[BAKER]
Thanks, cool!

[ALL]
Anti-depressants are so not a big deal
Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant

[DR. AKOPIAN]
Take two with or without a meal

(dance break)

[ALL]
Fluoxetine, fluoxetine
Paroxetine, paroxetine
Our lawyers won’t let us say brand names

Anti-depressants are so not a big deal
Big whoop, you're on an anti-depressant

[CONNOR]
Bark

[DOG WALKER]
Connor, heel!

[ALL]
Some cry that in the past, we didn't medicate everyone

[DR. AKOPIAN]
Cool, witch trials and the Crusades sound like so much fun

[ALL]
Anti-depressants are so common
That taking them is all we have in common