You’ve got Homer, Marge, Lisa and Bart
You got Maggie and Santa’s Little Helper to start
At Seven-Forty-Two, in a pink lil' house
Where everything’s coming up Milhouse, D’oh!

Grampa’s yelling at clouds
Willie’s really keeping busy keeping the grounds
Wiggum is commissioner, incompetent officer
And his son Ralph’s doing the un-possible

Springfielders, ask Quimby, there’s plenty
The black one is Carl, the white one is Lenny
So many seasons, you can’t seem to settle on
One, ish longer than Nahasapeemapetilon

Go to Kwik-E-Mart, learn what Apu earns
Hans Moleman was saying boo-urns
Like the Sea Captain, I’m going overboard
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords

Like Brockman, gimme a Duff, man
I wanna take a Malk but I wanna get drunk, man
Barney’s the barfly at Moe’s who falls
Down while Mike Rotch gives phony calls

Or Otto Mann on “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down”
Need a dump truck of money, call Krusty the Clown
Steer clear of Nelson, he’ll laugh at you openly
It’s worse than hearing “Okilly Dokilly”
Flanders, store just for left handers
Bar in the basement, call in Rex Banner
Two sons called Todd and Rod
Whose mom Maude got t-shirt clocked to God

And she’s smoking, like Selma and Patty
Comic Book Guy’s kind of a fatty
Like Fat Tony and Uter with his chocolate
Looking for another? Did you check your pocket?

I’mma school you like Chalmers and Skinner
Serving up steamed hams for dinner
I’m on fire, well, that’s a fallacy
It’s really Aurora Borealis, see?

Burns got a bear and the bear is Bobo
Burns got goons, Crusher and Lowblow
Nothing beats stabbin’ folks with my hobo
Knife, bring back Sheriff Lobo!

Flow so sick, someone call a doctor!
Hibbert is with it but Nick is awful
Hi everybody, it’s Mr. McGreg
With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!

Smithers can’t enter the League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen
There’s Itchy, there’s Scratchy, and there’s Gentle Ben
They’re all animals, call the hound dogs
Which are back like Alf with the Alf Pogs
Arnie Pye, Artie Ziff and Disco Stu
Martin Prince, McBain, Kirk, LuAnn, Lou
Sideshow Bob, Troy McClure, Radioactive Man
Who had a Fallout Boy before the band

I got more lines than Bart with chalk
I spit more lines than Maggie’s talked
That’s 59 names with more to report, Bort
Until next time, “Eat my shorts!”