[Round 1: Verb T/Joker Starr]
[Verb T]
I've heard Marlo rap, he likes spitting lyrics fast
What's the point in doing that when there's no rhythm in your bars?
See what I reckon bruv is you need to step it up
Because you spit fast but stumble over bars and mess 'em up
You're like the vocal version of some real pathetic chump
That runs real fast in a hurdles race but forgets to jump
See maybe that's cause you've never rapped on a beat before
But you do have a Soundcloud and that had me laughing bruv
It says "Theo K Marlo, I mostly do mash-ups but I do have some harder stuff"
Yeah, you got some hardcore shit Theo?
What's your crew called, the Mash-up Gangster Clique?
What do you do? Fuse a bit of Flashdance with some Hammer shit?
I mean, for people that don't know, his mash-ups consist of him taking elements from one rubbish song
And mixing it really badly with elements from another one
So when I heard you do that, I wasn't surprised at all
Because the way you rap shows no original type of thought
You just take elements and parody every person that you've ever heard rhyme before

[Joker Starr]
Your first battle against Josh Fox, you parred Young'un
Set up Fox put that boy in a box, proceed to start running
No intro, just cut to the chase, get them bars coming
Oh I get it, you boys wanna cut to the chase cause you posh boys enthusiastic about that fox hunting
Put it to your parents and the class that they gave you
Embracing your class like it's a lesson you came to
The class in my bars that I spray do
MARLO, you're so middle class you're like lunchtime slap bang in the middle of a school day
He hates the working man, he hates the working class like he studied for exams but he couldn't make his grade
[Verb T]
See Marlo's not a good rapper, I don't care what they say
He sounds like he approaches every single clash he does in the same way
Runs up to his mates like 'Hey, guess what boys!
I'm gonna say some stuff that URL rappers gonna say, but I'm gonna use my posh voice!
It's gonna be sick, I'm telling you
Cause I'm gonna rap posh, but fast and aggressive like that Arab guy from America."
And then he looks in the mirror and says:
"Marlo drops it harder, Marlo's got this mastered
I'm like a tornado in a tuxedo - I'm a posh Dizaster."

[Joker Starr]
You wack rappers no longer want to be Smack rappers, I smack rappers
Lock away you posh boys wanna rap, you see
Too regal for us rap MC's, they want to set up their own scene
And call it the 'Fox Hunting Battle League'

[Verb T]
Coming to you live from Fleet in Hampshire, home of Marlo
We present 'Fox Hunt Battles'
I said, 'Ayo posh Smack, how have you got me battling against the guy that doesn't have a spine?
Your conversation is asinine
Talk to you? I don't have the time
Your main bitch is not kosher, no sir
That bitch is a massive swine
[Joker Starr]
Marlo, I'll break your name into fractions
I'll bang your ma on the low, she likes to do the rappers
Listen, if you see me walking round your posh Chichester estate, holding the Mag
It's not a nicotine patch gonna stop me from smoking these fags
I told you posh boys smoking can tarnish your image
That's why you only smoke fox's at the Lamberts, because the word Butler is in it

[Verb T]
No, no, no, blood don't kill him, let me kill him
GAY CHAP
Marlo HATES RAP
Can't flow, FACE SLASHED
Arm broke, TAKE THAT, BARLOW

[Joker Starr]
It's like I work in a sophisticated restaurant
When I'm trying to lay down man cause you folks don't pay
It's like I'm employed as a silver servant, because I do my best work
When I'm picking up the metal and I hold those trays
Yes, posh boy, I hold those trays
I stand with Hors D'ouevres
I pop those cans with a can opener
Say it slower
I said I pop those cans with a can open-Eurgh
[Verb T]
He's dead, pour out some Evian for the dead homie

[Round 1: Marlo/Shuffle T]
[Marlo]
He called me middle class, nerdy posh, yeah I've heard it - lost
Mate, you're from fucking Slough, don't act like you've heard some shots
And that you murder lots
You probably have a perfect job, at Wernham Hogg

[Shuffle T]
Now when I heard that battle was Shuffle T and Marlo versus Joker Starr and Verb T on June 22nd in Plymouth I was happy with the situation
A battle with a legend who's music is known across different nations
I thought I'd act as interviewer, and get some information
So, Marlo, tell me who is your biggest source of inspiration?

[Marlo]
So Solid Crew
Forgive the forced multi but you creeps are not on a youth steez
You're on the swallowing soup, posture is doomed, shopping for brooms steez
I don't care if he's prepared a scheme declaring that my hair's receding
You two are barely breathing and yeah believe it's comical to me
You know what, I've got to stop following you T
[Shuffle-T] Why's that?
Well, let's look at the following clues please
[Shuffle-T] Okay
[Marlo]
Soweto and Rikky Riley we're collectively 65
Not to mention that Liquid guy
Now this should have been obvious to me, cause that Shuffle attracts older men
[Shuffle-T] Like what?
Like a pedophile watching The Goonies

[Shuffle-T]
You're old, I give it half a term before you start to turn to Hawaiian shirts and Crocs
[Marlo] You get heartburn
[Shuffle-T] A lot
[Marlo] You can only half turn your cogs
[Shuffle-T] You can't learn to jog
[Marlo] You fart worse than dogs
[Shuffle-T] And you can't work your cock

[Marlo]
Your battling gag is that you actually rap like you're practically having a nap
Don't Flop, what? For you two it's more like Don't Nod Off
I think the old guy napping state swagger's great
Your minds must constantly travel in passive waves
So if either of you try to claim that you were slept on by the fans today
It's probably because you literally slept during their reactions mate
So even with dope bars you won't last - accept it
Cause so far you folks can't have rested
Go home Starr and soak up your bedding
You don't go hard, you go narcoleptic

[Shuffle-T]
And this so-called God hasn't given a single blessing
And both of you just come with a simple presence
Just a boring sleepy flow with no skill that sets in
It's ironic you're narcoleptic but you're not inte-resting

[Marlo]
Shuffle-T, that was a decent bar
Really smart, I especially liked the stealing part

[Shuffle-T]
[?] battle was a robbery don't even start
Now Joker's wack, old and black
With rolls of fat, OPRAH SWAG
That homeless swag
That can I sleep on your sofa swag
And you know that he won't fold it back
Seriously, it's an open fact
From the sheer amount you choke and gag
This could have been me and Verb-T in a solo match
But he'd probably find a way to choke in that
On top if that, he can't go off the top and free a damn rhyme
So often he'll flat line

[Marlo] Yeah, Joker Starr? More like Loser Starr
[Shuffle-T] We did not agree on that line

[Marlo]
It seems there was some talk in jest
About a little event called Forgive and Forget
For all of them who's performance was an awkward mess
You know who I'm talking about: Anton Murphy, Anton Murphy, Anton Murphy

[Shuffle-T]
And even battles with a cause of death, like Caustic/Jeff

[Marlo]
Now you're the vets
But with the amount that you choke there's no doubt that you know that you'll be next
So that your event will just be called 'Forget'

[Shuffle-T]
Now genuinely speaking, these chokes are great

[Marlo]
Huh?

[Shuffle-T]
I said, "these blokes are great."

[Marlo]
Okay...
Now Verb, I don't know what to expect out of you bitch
Because in your Flex battle what you said sounds amusing And your best rounds'll get crowds to get rowdy to it
But I choked out your music

[Shuffle-T]
What did you say?

[Marlo]
I said I checked out his music

[Shuffle-T]
Oh okay I was just choking you weren't sounding stupid
Now Choker Starr and Verb Choke are choking hard but choke choke

[Marlo]
The choking stars with Joke Choke but choker bars to no choke

[Shuffle-T]
Now Choker Star with boats choker choke a choke with choke choke
[Marlo]
Your sober farce will choke boats but choke-amotive choke choke
[Shuffle-T]
Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke
[Marlo]
Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke

{Shuffle-T fakes chokes}

[Shuffle-T]
Checkity-choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke
[Shuffle-T] Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke
[Marlo] Choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke
[Shuffle-T] Checkity-choke a choke ch-ch-choke choke choke
[Together] That's a Joker choke a choke choke choke choke

[Round 2: Verb T/Joker Starr]
[Joker Starr]
The first time I met Shuffle-T, he said to me
"Joker Starr, I'm a big fan, I masturbate to your battles"
Pause, he admitted, and for that I thank you
It just goes to prove you're a fucking wanker
You also said to my boy Big J
You wanna cum on his face
You actually sat down, wrote that and planned it
The homosexual angle is nothing new that's landed
You just thought of homosexual things and antics
But everything you got that's homosexual you got from a pamphlet/Pamflit

[Verb T]
I would agree, cause you even stretch out those schemes with a relevant multi-syllable and reckon it's ultra-lyrical
Plus you do talk a lot of gay shit but you're not actually into shagging guys
So I guess you strategized and came up with that plan designed
To corner the gay market so you could make pink paper like Financial Times
See I know you all appreciate that line when you look back
And so does Marlo cause he was like, "Oo, Financial Times, that's a good rag."
See Shuffle, you had a few clashes but bro, how come you haven't evolved?
You can rhyme words well, do comedy but can't actually flow
So maybe you should stick to comedy cause when you're rapping you know
It's kind of like a kind of like a cyclist trying to drive an F1 car
You can't make that leap because you don't understand the mechanics involved

[Joker Starr]
See these two, this is the battle you've had thus yet
We don't view you as competition
Your style's like a horoscope, it's clear you looked up to stars to improve your wisdom
I mean they walk just like him, bang on their chests and talk just like him
But I bet that's part of the plan
Verb T they up here acting like they ain't some of our fans
Look at them star-struck, and I ain't even strike 'em with the palm of my hand
Look at them, their whole battle style is like a telescope searching for the stars' alignment
They look up to the stars so they can understand the science
It's like a constellation
Nah, it's like a con still, eh son
This is gonna be a meteor shower, then a shooting star
I said these boys are dead, if you don't believe me, T or show Eurgh there'll be a shooting, star
BARS

[Verb T]
See Shuffle, me rhyming with you
That's feeding time at the zoo
Right now a kid that had terminal cancer wouldn't even climb in your shoes
It don't matter how badly I beat you, people be shrugging when I did it
Cause this is like Lebron James dunking on a midget
You can't survive at this altitude
I'm on another level so of course I talk down to you
But that's what I'm supposed to do when I'm dealing with a little man
So I'm fucking up Shuffle like a Blackjack dealer with a crippled hand
Apply the pressure to your brittle back
Your ribs will snap
Whoever's with you will leave quicker than those bandwagon fickle fans
When they're switching to a different fad
See right now this is apt, cause I really respect how you've got the crowd
And they go crazy for you chumps
But if you can't prove it over time then you're nothing more than flavour of the month
So bitch stop hanging on to April cause it's done

[Joker Starr]
You know what you and Daylyt have in common? You're both poofs
I can tell by your star sign, Aquarius?
Now you can see by the signs, you can see what a queer he is
Be gay and proud
When Gaylyt was taking off his clothes on stage you were at the back clapping and cheering loud
Wanting to get to the front to see what dancing half-naked with a shotgun was all about
You would deny that now
He said he only like Daylyt he only has gay pride like in the night club when that sun go down

[Verb T]
See you guys fucking love Mark Grist
So when he does two on twos with Mixy you have some serious issues
Marlo's like, "Well I don't see what Mixy's got that's so great, to be honest with you"
Shuffle says, "Yeah I know, I'm taller, I've got better hair, and I'm a higher class
And if I was Mark's parter we'd get a lot more laughs."
Shuffle stays up in the dark, nightly, thinking "Has Mark seen my battles? Does Mark really like me?"
Dude, you said you want Big J's cum in your face so it's not really a massive surprise
To find out that you also want Mark's on your face like an African tribe

[Round 2: Marlo/Shuffle-T]
[Marlo]
There's a lot of things I don't like about you
Let's talk about your pen game
It's pretty weak you could say
The shit that leaks from your brain puts more kids to sleep a day than a paediatric anaesthetist mate
However, you did succeed to create
A written scheme I can rate
Which was clearly surveyed
And strictly treated for days...your Wikipedia page
The stuff he says about himself is too much, it's mental
He describes Verb T like the dude's something special
In my eyes, you've won the medal for douche-cunt potential on a new fucking level
Not to kick a man when he's down
But just in case you think my shoe must have settled
Here's an actual direct quote for you lot to revel

[Shuffle-T]
"In the late nineties, an underage Verbs frequented open mic nights across London

[Marlo]
Oh you bloody rebel

[Shuffle-T]
And Joker's always pulling the race card in any mad different places
So you have to be careful what you say or he'll call you a fat little racist
But I picked up some tips you see, some handy business cases
If you're to say:

[Marlo]
"I have lots of black friends"

[Shuffle T]
That's being racist
If you're to say:

[Marlo]
I'm not being racist, but...

[Shuffle-T]
That's being racist
So logically, obviously, you have to say the opposite to avoid being seen as a clan-wielding sadist
So I have no black friends, I hate black people and I am being racist?

[Marlo]
When Joker raps, you absolutely have to know he's black
That's the only stat this man promotes
In fact, he warns people, as if he only attracts blind folk

[Shuffle-T] Hi Joker, I'm Shuff-
[Marlo] "Yeah, I'm actually a black guy."
[Shuffle-T] That's nice, I have eyes though
[Shuffle-T] See, cause we've been following you mate
[Marlo] And there's a lot of shit you say
[Shuffle-T] That is locked upon your race
[Marlo] In your raps
[Shuffle-T] So we're obviously afraid
[Marlo] That you're obviously gonna say
[Shuffle-T] That we're obviously gonna say
[Marlo] You're black
[Shuffle-T] But hold on a second mate
[Marlo] That is not at all the case
[Shuffle-T] And we're honestly ashamed
[Marlo] You thought that
[Shuffle-T] Well you positively made
[Marlo] A horrible mistake
[Shuffle-T] Here's what we've got to say
[Marlo] You're white

[Shuffle-T]
Do not act like this is not true
You're about as white as the Lindy Hop move
You'd look like Villun, if Villun got spooked
He's racist as well, one of Hitler's offshoots
Probably part of a lynching mob too
Every Halloween he hits the locker rooms and gets changed into a minstrel costume

[Marlo]
Same story with every one you clash
Love the fact you always want us to trash your colour man
[Shuffle-T] Yeah you wanted us to cut your land so you could rebuttal back that we're part of the fucking Klan?
[Marlo] Well we've got other plans
[Shuffle-T] You're not even a brother man
[Marlo] You're not even fucking black
[Both] Why don't you rebuttal that?

[Marlo]
Ahead of me, Verb, is where you'll never be, Verb
What's so fucking great about the letter T, Verb?
You know what kind of social sect is known to rep the pettiest verb followed by the letter T?
Nerds

[Shuffle-T]
Nerds
I'm incredibly hurt
And in your last two on two, you called Tony D lazy
Verb please, here's the reason why that kinda concerns me
See both of our names are a word - T
I chose Shuffle because my shuffles impress the girls, see
I chose Shuffle because it's an actual fucking word, T
You chose Verb because you're too lazy to pick a Verb, T
So in the name game I'm repping, Verb ain't near
You may as well have fucking called yourself [Insert Name Here]
And I can't wait to hear about the tracks we don't make
That goes straight past, see
Because battling and music are similar but not the exact same path, T
So saying that we can't do this because we can't speed through a fast beat is like saying 'Snowboarders are shit mate'
[Marlo] Why's that mate?
[Shuffle-T] Cause they can't ski
So if those are the angles you came to use
Then both of you clearly played to lose
Cause we're the reason that this vid' is gaining some major views
So our advice we say to you is you should stick to making tunes
[Marlo]
And that advice is not aimed at you
{Points to Joker Starr}

[Shuffle-T] Time

[Round 3: Joker Starr/Verb T]
[Verb T]
See you guys do some really fucking shit sketch comedy
They've got this one called 'Brian the Business Consultant'
It's kind of stupid really
It's about a guy that's trying to help a firm and to prove his theories
He draws big pictures of cocks
Wow, how have Channel 4 not given you a series?
Now I can already hear these geeks
Like 'No Verb that's an unfair critique
I mean you're missing all the subtext, you can't tell us that the acting isn't seemless
And I think you're quite misunderstanding the symbolism of the penis
No mate, you're misunderstanding the symbolism of the penis
I'm right, and you're not
You just made a stupid fucking sketch about a man that draws cocks

[Joker Starr]
You two got jokes and verse spitting these guys' rounds
Call me sir, cause (circus) both you dudes is clowns
We hip jop masters, the gulf between us - wide when we doing spoken word
Shuffle-T off, can't swing with the masters with technique so superb
Marlo, a bitch, a bird - he bogey with the rhymes when it comes to bars
He'd rather chip and bunk-Eurgh cause the gulf between us is showing him to be under par
Golf bars
While you two practicing your bro-mancing, you hold hands-n
My plan is to go for a stroll with your wifey through one of the finest hoods
And my plan is to pipe her good
Fuck that pussy like an old bitch
And she come running back to you young boys like a good cougar rightly should
Cause me and Verb T off in that pussy raw just like a lion would
Me and Verb T came, and we put a hole in one when we gave that Tiger Wood

[Verb T]
Wait, wait, wait, wait
You don't like people talking about your girl Shuffle
Well picture me every fucking your girl from behind with my hand over her mouth, now she's screaming every word muffled
She loved it, she wanted me and Joker to take it in turns
So we did, we were disgracing your bird
I had your chick screaming real loud in my face as I burst
And your girl is a fantastic wordsmith, cause she really loves playing with Verbs
See, do you understand we got your chick, we got the train working
I'm that deranged person, I'm in your head like a brain surgeon
The cat that chased vermin, your ideas are not novel but I've got everyone turning to the next chapter
I'll slap your face first and have your shapes swerving like some sort of bait serpent
Leave you in a fiery lake burning when a face emerges out the flames just wondering what you're up to
I said, you're dead, hell's waiting so tell Satan I said 'Fuck you'

[Joker Starr]
Bad bars put you boys on the map
Wack bars made your views go for the moon and clouds
Bad bars, wack bars, views for the moon and clouds
Makes sense why your Youtube views have gone all lunar now
I saw you at Verdict telling Soweto Kinch your rounds
Like, "Yeah man, these are my best bars yet"
No jokes involved
You wanna go bar for bar with me boy, I'll train you like bars are like training balls
{chokes}

[Verb T]
Yesterday I was watching Shuffle-T versus Soweto Kinch, man your bars were raw
You said he was as old... as a dinosaur
I mean with that line you totally slayed him
You said he was as old as something that's been dead a million years - that's amazing
Although watching that, the experience was spiritual
I have a problem with the fact that you have a problem with people using the word 'lyrical'
I mean are you fucking kidding me, I'm a rapper that's over thirty - I'll have to do shit "lyrically"
So you'll get lyrically hit with my lyrical fist
I'll ramp your lyrical bitch, she'll suck my lyrical dick
I'll do some lyrical that, I'll do some lyrical this
I'll jump all over your sofa then take a lyrical shit
This is lyrical bars right here
See, watch how I'm leaving you lyrically all dead
I've got a great big lyrical nuclear warhead
I've got a lyrical jacket, shoes and lyrical pants
Do I want to actually do it? No, just lyrically thanks
See, Shuffle's like "You can't say lyrically that, that makes you lyrically wack."
Well who the fuck are you to tell anyone how to rap cause you're a lyrical twat
LYRICAL

[Round 3: Marlo/Shuffle-T]
[Shuffle-T]
Don't get pissed off about the old shit, I'm just a young'un, Verb
Obviously that dinosaur shit kinda touched a nerve
He calls himself The God
And he's from the hood
[Marlo] Of Slough

[Shuffle T]
His knowledge is from the streets, it's not from a book
Which is obvious because if you gave it a proper look
You'd see you can't be God because The Bible says that God is good
And you are not good
But I don't believe in God, or the way that religion is forged
Don't believe in The Bible, the way it's written and forced
Everything about God just makes me livid and bored
But thank you very fucking much, for Christmas and war

[Marlo]
Joker you giant slice of protein and fiber pie
You're not holy, divine, or wise
You don't glow in a shining light
You're not Jehovah and Christ combined
Your beard's not grown to a mighty size
You're not responsible for 90% of the reasons known for just why we fight
And blow up each other when loaded with dynamite
And mostly deny the rights of those that The Bible cites as broken and vile inside
You're not a joke to a science mind
You know what, you're also definitely not the reason why genuinely good people find hope in their times of strife
You get on stage wearing stupid beads and don't even try to rhyme
You just choke and then cry sometimes
And say 'God' more often than Napoleon Dynamite

[Shuffle-T]
And Cruger says that Conceited uses guns as a crutch like Planet Terror
I like that, so I thought I'd do one for this massive heffer
Since you're always acting like you have a weapon
Like you clap Berettas and bang the Tec
But you need that novelty in your battle penning
Since you only make an impact with the gun punch like Jack from Tekken

[Marlo]
Be honest, put your hands up if you didn't catch the reference
Okay thanks, we had a bet and that's a tenner

[Shuffle-T]
I can't believe we share the T in our name - you cunt
And how are you a verb? That's a doing word and you don't seem to do much
People say Verb's boring, that's hardly true
When he's not creating the hardest tunes, he's moving on to pastures new
Anything with adrenalin that's getting his heart to boost
You know like golf, checkers, arts and crafts with glue
And trust me his collection of carpet samples is huge
You and Nils M Skils should go and start a group called the 24 Hour Party Crew

[Marlo]
Yeeeaaaaaahh I'm sick of the doubters
[Shuffle T] What?!
[Marlo]
Verb isn't a downer
He's wild as fuck mate he sings in the shower
And alphabetises the bookmarks on his internet browser
I'll bet that bitches surround you
Rumour has it, when swinging with physical power
This limitless kid'll astound you
Hitting a sixty in cricket and rounders
You throw a party, Verb is bringing the powder
But don't get it twisted about
It's not for sniffing it down
It's just in case he gets an irritable itch in his trousers

[Shuffle-T]
You guys are weird and quiet at any main event
Such genuinely boring and lazy men you probably spend entire days in bed
You're so awkward to talk to you're never making friends
You could get laser-lenged, by David Brent

[Marlo]
That's also ironic you see
Because you two comical freaks
Respectfully podgy and weedy
Look like Brent and Dock on Equality Street
If their ethnic origins swapped in their sleep

[Shuffle-T] YOUR VOLUME OF SPEECH

[Marlo]
Is a real problem you have when you're rapping your writtens
First you start, real quiet, like a rat in the kitchen
THEN GET LOUDER AND ANGRIER WITH IT
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE FACING THE CROWD AND NOT ACTUALLY ATTACKING your victim
You can never keep it averagely balanced and that is an issue you have with your spitting
In fact, battling him is like standing and listening to a roller coaster from an absolutely static position

{Demonstration from Shuffle-T}

[Marlo]
You can tell that he's practically wishing that Smack'll be sitting across the Atlantic division with his laptop clapping and grinning

[Shuffle T]
He actively wishes he was in the Ultimate Rap League so fucking badly
He told them he'd gladly
Fold all of Smack's jeans, wash all of his damp sheets
Til they afford him a clash with the whores with the panties With the boards that announce the order the rounds be
In the morning time bro
When your alarm goes
It's Don De Marco

[Marlo]
See, whenever you're battling now
In the middle of rapping a round
You drop a gun rhyme punchline and act like you're proud
Looking back at the crowd
Calm, collected, half expecting a klaxon to sound

{Shuffle-T plays radio mash-up klaxon sound}

[Marlo]
Now to finish this, we thought

{Shuffle-T plays radio mash-up klaxon sound incessantly}
Fuck it, time