If I were a wizard, I’d want you to be
My incredibly powerful wizard lady
We could go around town getting all the baddies
Go back to my place and smoke a fatty

Because how much fun do you think it’d be?
Being high wizards, just you and me
Making fireballs, inventing new spells
Accidentally make a swamp monster that smells

And if I were a warrior, I’d want you to be
My incredibly beautiful warrior lady
We could save all the towns folk from evil dragons
And ride around town in our real cool wagons

Because how much fun do you think it’d be?
Being tough warriors, just you and me
Beating big monsters day to day
Always having enough free time to play
To play

If I were just a boy I’d want you to be
My incredibly nerdy cute little lady
We could sit in my room and play FF7
Hanging out with you would just be heaven
Because how much fun do you think it’d be?
Staring up at my ceiling, just you and me
We could make blanket forts, play hide and seek
Can I kiss your lips or maybe just your cheek?
Your cheek