[Skit, Part 1: Desi Banks (in Character), Kountry Wayne]
Now, now, now, look at this
I'm so glad you came to the church
I'm glad somebody know Jesus is real
Look at my grandbaby
Yeah, yeah, Jesus is real, but your damn pastor ain't
That's, that's–ooh–now that's when I leave 'cause I know what you talkin' 'bout
Look like the devil's on you, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Yeah, yeah, yeah, bye, bye, bye, yeah, bye, yeah
Goodbye, so crazy, I-, ooh
You almost made me curse
Yeah, your pastor been cursin', a open curse, he got my money
I'ma throw this peppermint at you
Yeah, go ahead, throw it
Child, open up this door, I don't know what's wrong with this boy
Your pastor breath stink
Bye
Yeah

[Skit, Part 2: Desi Banks & Kountry Wayne]
Bruh, what the hell was goin' on out there, boy?
Ayy, man, I'm out here tryna get my money from that pastor that be lyin' to the members of the church
Bruh, what do he owe you, boy?
Boy, he owe me millions, he owe me plenty money
[...]
Boy, the boy been playing Tonk in the hood and everything
Boy, the n***a owe me some money, too, boy
Me and Parlay was up the street doin' stupid ass shit
I seen the pastor 'round there with a Bentley Coupe
I said, "What the hell he doin' with a Bentley?"
Oh, oh, yeah
Hold up, you ain't 'bout to rob the church, is you? I ain't with that
I ain't gon' rob the church, but I'm just sayin'
If he got my money, I gotta take care of that
Yeah, go get it, but, yeah, you go get it and bring mine back
I'm sayin'-, but you got that on you, though?
[Skit, Part 3: Big Rube]
Hey, how y'all doin'?
Oh, what's up, OG, what's up?
I couldn't help but overhear y'all conversation just now
I usually mind my own business, but something moved me to speak to y'all this morning
I ain't judgin', though
Hell, I agree with most of what I heard
They say don't question God
A n***a like me say I was questionin' you n***as, not God
Besides, I guarantee he got more answers than we do
Always askin' everybody, "What would Jesus do?"
But they never ever ask Jesus, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout?
A lot of folks believe anything you tell 'em if it sound good enough
*** was crazy as a razor blade necktie
But he was a master manipulator, so people got behind him
I can make a really convincing argument right here, right now that Jesus was as black as Shaka Zulu, but to what end?
Arguin' 'bout it would only divide us to be conquered
It's like never openin' a package that could've saved your life
'Cause you was too damn busy arguin' over whether UPS or Fedex delivered it
See how that sound?
Damn, OG, I ain't really looked at it like that
Now stop bein' stingy and let me get a swig of that liquor 'fore I run up in this church