I was sitting in the backyard, sucking a Good Humor
Along comes a doc, says my wife has a tumor
And it was malignant

Now the AMA and the medical highers
They don't agree with Liggett & Meyers
They say smoking is bad for you
It'll give you cancer
Hell of a cough, too

Well, there's cancer of the liver, there's cancer of the lung
Cancer of the lip, the throat, the tongue
There's 17 malignant tumors in one filter tip king size
Light up!

Well, a cigarette was needed that was relatively clean
They come out with filters, no tars and nicotine
Pretty low on sales, too
All that research gone to waste
No harmful ingredient, no cigarette taste

Well, the companies panicked, they had to find the answer
They increased the tobacco strain and everybody's getting cancer
Look what I got free with these cigarette coupons:
A chest X-ray!
Well, the hashish interest in Mexico
Has found a way to redouble their dough
They got a weed, has no tar, so they say
Let's all get the habit, marijuana's here to stay
So if you want a treat, and you don't mind the treatment
Smoke pot! It's the thinking man's cigarette!