Slipped on a banana peel today
A fake flower squirted me in the face
Pants dropped, kicked in the balls
My tiny car was impounded

Today was a bad day
Today was a bad day
Today was a bad day
Today was a bad day

Stepped on a rake and it hit me in the nose
Flattened by a steamroller
Fell down a flight of stairs
Into a pool a piranhas

Today was a bad day
Today was a bad day
Today was a bad day
Today was a bad day

Living a slapstick nightmare
Living a slapstick nightmare
Living a slapstick nightmare
Living a slapstick nightmare