[Verse 1]
I don't wanna deal with overpasses
Everyone agrees there's too much traffic
Tell the people they should use their golf carts
I wanna be a star but I don't like my part

I don't wanna deal with Julius Caesar
Persecutin' me because I play in Weezer
I'm grateful for the roads and the aqueduct
But this is kinda starting to get what-the-fuck

[Chorus]
I'm scared I'll use the incorrect pronoun
That's why they call me Charlie Brown
Afraid some jerk'll pull my gym shorts down
That's why they call me Charlie Brown
If you wanna know the worst
I'm terrified to be first
I need someone to show me how (Charlie Brown)
That is why they call me Charlie Brown

[Post-Chorus]
Charlie Brown

[Verse 2]
Don't wanna deal with 3-piece suiters
Telling me that I should get a job at Hooters
What do these people know about expression?
Let me give you all an introductory lesson
I don't wanna deal with tasteless food
It's the '90s so we oughta have some ratatouille (yep)
That's what I love about the modern world (yup)
Everybody gets a chance to be misheard

[Chorus]
I'm scared I'll use the incorrect pronoun
That's why they call me Charlie Brown
Afraid some jerk'll pull my gym shorts down
That's why they call me Charlie Brown
If you wanna know the worst
I'm terrified to be first
I need someone to show me how (Charlie Brown)
That is why they call me Charlie Brown

[Bridge]
I don't wanna deal with expectations
Just as good hanging at the Exxon station
Sitting on a mushroom underneath the tree
Why is everybody always pickin' on me?

[Chorus]
I'm scared I'll use the incorrect pronoun
That's why they call me Charlie Brown
Afraid some jerk'll pull my gym shorts down
That's why they call me Charlie Brown
If you wanna know the worst
I'm terrified to be first
I need someone to show me how (Charlie Brown)
That is why they call me Charlie Brown
[Outro]
Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown
Charlie Brown