Tim Heidecker
Ballad of the Incel Man (Nebraska Version)
[Intro]
One, two, three, four

[Verse 1]
I'm down in the basement
Making signs out of love
There's a big time special guest tonight
Comin' from above
And this town hasn't seen such excitement
Since John Cena back in '09
Yeah, that arena's known for its wrestlin' matches
Tonight we're gonna have ourselves a different kind
A different kind of good time

[Chorus]
I'm gonna take my mamma and her sister aunt Marie
And I hope I find a like-minded girl tonight at the Trump rally

[Verse 2]
And I'm gonna take a shower
And shave so I look good
Wear my "Hillary for Prison" shirt
Like a good boy should
Plan to show up there early
Watch the motorcade arrive
Gonna grill up some meat in the parking lot
They say the doors will open at five
Yeah, the doors will open at five
[Chorus]
Got my picture of Obama, which we'll burn in effigy
And I hope I find a like-minded girl tonight at the Trump rally

[Verse 3]
Maybe I'll get to sit
Behind the man they love to hate
And then watch him throw a fit
About problems I can't contemplate
Sometimes he scares me
When he goes on one of those rants
Sometimes I don't know what he's talking about
But it makes them liberals shit their pants
Yes, it makes them shit their pants

[Outro]
It gives them such trauma
And it makes us so happy
But I just wanna find a like-minded girl
Oh, I just wanna find a like-minded girl
Oh, I just wanna find a like-minded girl
Tonight at the Trump rally