[Verse 1]
I remember saying I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm okay
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "You see that thing right there? Well, you know what that means"
And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me

[Pre-Chorus]
He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast
End up every summer wearing something in a cast
He's gonna to throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street

[Chorus]
He's gonna get in trouble, he's going to get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna to get my payback if he's anything like me

[Verse 2]
I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass tryna melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love 'til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me
[Pre-Chorus]
He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skipping class and be grounded for a week

[Chorus]
He's gonna get in trouble, we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

[Bridge]
He's gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by, I already dread the day

[Chorus]
He's gonna hug his momma, he's gonna shake my hand
He's going to act like he can't wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me

[Outro]
There's worse folks to be like
Aw, he'll be alright
If he's anything like me