[KURT, spoken]
Aw, you can't just leave...

[RAM, spoken]
Not when you're dressed like that...

[VERONICA, spoken]
Dressed like what? This is what I always wear

[KURT, spoken]
Yeah and it's torture!

[RAM, spoken]
How can you expect us to control ourselves when you look like that?

[VERONICA]
Dear Diary
Here we are in the dark fifty yards from my car
I could climb that tree, I'd never get that far...
They're a hundred pounds heavier, they have my keys
I'm a rat in a trap, correction:
I'm the cheese

[KURT]
Hey there girl, ignore this fool
He tries to play cool while he’s dribbling drool
[RAM]
Just trying to say in our friendly way
That you’ve gotten hotter like every day

[KURT]
OW!!

[RAM]
Hey there girl, avoid this punk
He’s hungry for a hunk of the junk in your trunk

[KURT]
There is no lie, that dog won’t try
When a tasty treat like you walks by, cause

[RAM AND KURT]
Once, you were geeky and nerdy
Now you’re flirty, freaky, and dirty

[KURT]
You were nothing and nobody..

[RAM]
...but now you’re good enough to

[KURT/RAM]
Get with me! HUH!
You’re welcome, look where you are

You’re welcome, you’ve won a football star!

You’re welcome

[RAM]
Baby, what's that smell?

[KURT]
That's the smell of me lovin' you well

[BOTH]
You're welcome!

[They both "beat-box"]

[VERONICA]
This is not a drill
This is not a bad dream
In a cow pasture, no one can hear you scream
Never break their stare, stay awake, stay aware
You're not in real danger 'til they grab your hair

[RAM]
Come back girl, now don’t play hurt
If you don’t want me starin’, why you wearin’ that skirt?
[KURT]
We can’t be tamed and we can’t be blamed
It’s all your fault that we’re inflamed!

[KURT/RAM]
Cause once, you were grody and grotty

[RAM]
Now you’ve got a body like a Maserati!

[KURT/RAM]
Stroke my fur, make me purr-

[KURT]
Hey! You wanted to be

[KURT/RAM]
Popular!

[KURT]
Hit me!

[RAM]
HUH!

[BOTH]
You’re welcome, look where you are

You’re welcome, come get your football star

You’re welcome

[RAM]
You've joined the pros!

[KURT]
Once we squeeze you
You'll stay "squoze"

[RAM]
You’re welcome in my lap, welcome on my knee

[KURT]
Well, come on and get grabby in the grass with me!

[VERONICA]
I got one last chance to save my ass
What was that move from my self-defence class?

[RAM]
I’ll steal your heart like a thief
Bring you sweet relief

[KURT]
Call me Wendy cause you never wonder

[KURT/RAM]
‘Where’s the beef?’

[VERONICA]
They're a powder keg
So don't yell or beg
Stay friendly
Then gently, accidentally sweep the leg

[KURT]
Ah! This mud stinks!

[RAM]
Ugh, gross!

[VERONICA]
You’re welcome...

[KURT]
Back up fool, you reek!

[VERONICA]
You’re welcome...

[RAM]
Well, you smell like a sewage leak

[VERONICA]
You’re welcome...

[KURT]
Wait, dude
I'm pretty sure
This ain't mud- it's

[KURT/RAM]
COW MANURE!

[VERONICA]
You’re welcome!

[KURT/RAM]
Ah, it's everywhere!

[VERONICA]
You’re welcome

[KURT/RAM]
Hold on, it's in my hair!

[VERONICA]
You’re well-

[KURT/RAM]
Hey, girl
Now let's not dwell
I'mma smell
You can tell
I can still be lovin' you well!

[VERONICA]
Swell!

[KURT/RAM]
No, I'll be lovin' her well!

[VERONICA]
See you in Hell!

[KURT/RAM]
No, I'll be lovin' her well!
No, I'll be-
I'll be-
I'll be-
I'll be-
Lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' her well!
You're welcome!
You're welcome!

[ALL]
You're welcome!