[VERONICA, spoken]
September 1st, 1989
Dear diary:
I think I'm a good person. I believe there's good in everyone
But here we are, first day of senior year
I see these kids I've known all my life and wonder:
What happened?
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Freak! Slut!
Burnout! Bug-eyes!
Poser! Lard-ass!
[VERONICA]
We were so tiny
Happy and shiny
Playing tag and getting chased
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Freak! Slut!
Loser! Short bus!
[VERONICA]
Singing and clapping
Laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Bull-dyke! Stuck-up!
Hunchback!
[VERONICA]
Then we got bigger
That was the trigger
Like the Huns invading Rome
[STUDENT, spoken]
Move!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Sorry!
[sung]
Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school;
This is the Thunderdome
Hold your breath and count the days-
We're graduating soon
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
White trash!
[VERONICA]
College will be paradise
If I'm not dead by June!
But I know, I know
Life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray
For a better way
If we changed back then
We could change again
We can be beautiful...
[HIPSTER, spoken]
Ow!
[VERONICA]
Just not today
[VERONICA, spoken]
Hey, are you okay?
[HIPSTER, spoken]
Get away, nerd!
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Freak! Slut! Cripple!
Homo! Homo! Homo!
[VERONICA]
Things will get better
Soon as my letter
Comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown
Wake from this coma
Take my diploma
Then I can blow this town
Dream of ivy-covered walls
And smoky French cafés
[RAM, spoken]
Watch this!
[VERONICA]
Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!
[RAM, spoken]
Oops!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker, and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick
[RAM, spoken]
What did you say to me, skank?
[VERONICA, spoken]
...Nothing!
[VERONICA, HIPSTER, PREPPY, RAM, REPUBLICANETTE & STONER]
But I know, I know...
Life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray...
For a better way
We were kind before
We can be kind once more;
We can be beautiful... (Beautiful...)
[VERONICA, spoken]
Aaaagh!
...Hey, Martha
[MARTHA, spoken]
Hey!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers
She's got a huge heart. 'Round here, that's not enough
Thanks
[MARTHA, spoken]
We on for movie night?
[VERONICA, spoken]
You're on Jiffy Pop detail
[MARTHA, spoken]
I rented The Princess Bride.
[VERONICA, spoken]
...Again? Don't you have it memorized by now?
[MARTHA, spoken]
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending
[KURT, spoken]
Martha Dumptruck! Hahahaha!
If you wanna lose a few pounds, you need more protein in your diet
[VERONICA, spoken]
Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf
What is wrong with you?
[KURT, spoken]
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?
[RAM, spoken]
My buddy Kurt asked you a question
[VERONICA, spoken]
What gives you the right to pick on my friend? Look at you, you're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant
[KURT, spoken]
You got a zit right there
[VERONICA, spoken]
Dear diary...
[sung]
Why....
[BELEAGUERED GEEK]
Why do they hate me?
[REPUBLICANETTE]
Why don't I fight back?
[KURT]
Why do I act like such a creep?
[VERONICA]
Why…
[NEW WAVE GIRL]
Why won't he date me?
[HIPSTER]
Why did I wear this?
[STONER, PREPPY & MS. FLEMING]
Why do I cry myself to sleep?
[VERONICA]
Why…
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Somebody hug me!
Somebody fix me!
Somebody save me!
[STUDENTS, FACULTY & VERONICA]
Send me a sign, God!
Give me some hope, here!
Something to live for!
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Ah... Heather, Heather, and Heather!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Then there's the Heathers. They float above it all
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
I love Heather, Heather, and Heather
[VERONICA, spoken (STUDENTS & FACULTY)]
(I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather)
Heather McNamara, head cheerleader. Her dad is loaded—he sells engagement rings
(I want Heather, Heather, and Heather)
Heather Duke, runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants
(I need Heather, Heather—)
And Heather Chandler, the Almighty
She is a mythic bitch
[VERONICA, spoken]
The Heathers are solid Teflon—never bothered, never harassed
I would give anything to be like that
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Mmmm...
[HIPSTER, spoken]
I'd like to be their boyfriend
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
That would be beautiful...
Mmmm...
[STONER CHICK, spoken]
If I sat at their table, guys would notice me
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
So beautiful...
Ooooh...
[MARTHA, spoken]
I'd like them to be nicer
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
That would be beautiful...
Ooooh...
[BELEAGUERED GEEK, spoken]
I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats
[CHANDLER, spoken]
Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87
[DUKE, spoken]
Heather, I need a mint
[MCNAMARA, spoken]
What you need, Heather, is to see a doctor
[MS. FLEMING, spoken]
Ah, Heather and Heather--
And Heather. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class
[CHANDLER, spoken]
Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her
[FLEMING, spoken]
Not without a hall pass you're not. A week's detention
[DUKE, MCNAMARA & CHANDLER overlapping]
What? No way, that's not fair!
But I've got cheerleader practice!
My parents pay your salary!
[VERONICA, spoken]
Actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee
[FLEMING, spoken]
I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going
[CHANDLER, spoken]
This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Veronica... Sawyer. I crave a boon
[CHANDLER, spoken]
What boon?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think you guys tolerate me, they'll leave me alone
Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes
[DUKE, spoken]
How about prescriptions?
[CHANDLER, spoken]
Shut up, Heather
[DUKE, spoken]
Sorry, Heather
[CHANDLER, spoken]
For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure
[MCNAMARA, spoken]
And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important
[DUKE, spoken]
Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds
[CHANDLER]
And you know, you know, you know?
This could be beautiful
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss
And we're on our way
Get this girl some blush
And Heather, I need your brush
Let's make her beautiful...
[DUKE]
Let's make her beautiful...
[MCNAMARA]
Let's make her beautiful...
[CHANDLER]
Make her beautiful...
[spoken]
Okay?
[VERONICA, spoken]
Okay!
[KURT]
Out of my way, geek!
[GEEK]
I don't want trouble—
[RAM]
You're gonna die at 3pm!
[REPUBLICANETTE & NEW WAVE]
Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!
[GEEK]
What did I ever do to them?
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this!
I think I'm dying!
[MS. FLEMING]
Who's that with Heather?
[STUDENTS & FACULTY, spoken]
Whoa!
[sung]
Heather, Heather, Heather...
[NEW WAVE GIRL]
And someone!
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Heather, Heather, Heather...
[GOWAN & COACH]
And a babe!
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Heather, Heather, Heather...
[MARTHA, spoken]
Veronica?
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Veronica? Veronica? Veronica!!
[VERONICA (STUDENTS & FACULTY)]
And you know, you know, you know... (Ooohhhh!)
Life can be beautiful (Aaahhh! Beautiful!)
You hope, you dream, you pray (Ooohhhh!)
And you get your way! (Aaahhh!)
Ask me how it feels (Beautiful!)
Lookin' like hell on wheels... (Ooohhhh!)
My God, it's beautiful! (Beautiful!)
I might be beautiful... (Beautiful!)
And when you're beautiful... (Aaahhh!)
It's a beautiful frickin' day! (Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!)
Yeah-eah-eah! (Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!)
[STUDENTS & FACULTY]
Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!
Veronicaaaaa!
