[ALL]
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

[RAM]
Dad says "Act your age."
You heard the man, it's time to rage!

[ALL]
Blast the bass, turn out the light
Ain’t nobody home tonight!

[RAM]
Drink, smoke, it's all cool
Let's get naked in my pool!

[ALL]
Punch the wall and start a fight!
Ain’t nobody home tonight!

[KURT]
His folks got a waterbed
Come upstairs and rest your head

[RAM]
Let's rub each other's backs
While watching porn on Cinemax!
[HEATHER CHANDLER, KURT, RAM, & KIDS]
The folks are gone
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
We're up till dawn
Having some big fun!
Big fun!
When mom and dad forget
To lock the liquor cabinet
It's big fun!
Big fun!

[HEATHER MCNAMARA, spoken]
So, it's salt then shot then lime. Very important to get the order right
Oooh! You're a natural, just like my mom!

[PREPPY STUD, spoken]
Veronica, you’re looking good tonight!

[VERONICA, spoken]
Whoa

(sung)
A hot guy smiled at me
Without a trace of mockery!
[ALL BUT VERONICA]
Brainiac cleans up alright
Veronica is hot tonight!

[VERONICA]
Freaked, tweaked. Head’s a blur
How did I get so popular?

[ALL BUT VERONICA]
Don't get close, you might ignite
Veronica is hot tonight!

[VERONICA]
Dreams are coming true
When people laugh but not at you!
I’m not alone! I'm not afraid!
I feel like Bono at LiveAid!

[ALL]
The house is ours
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
Let's use their showers
That sounds like
Big fun!
Big fun!
Crack open one more case!
[VERONICA, spoken]
I think that’s what they call "third base."

[ALL]
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!

[VERONICA]
I'm actually having--!

[ALL]
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!

[KURT, spoken]
Yo, rottweilers! What is Westerberg gonna do to the Razorbacks at Sunday's game?

[RAM, spoken]
Gonna make 'em go whee! Whee! Whee! Whee!

[ALL]
Awwww!
The party's hot, hot, hot
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!

[KURT]
You need a jello shot!

[ALL]
We're having big fun!
Big fun!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Martha Dumptruck, in the flesh

[HEATHER DUKE]
Here comes the Cootie Squad
We should--

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Shut up, Heather

[HEATHER DUKE]
Sorry, Heather

[HEATHER MCNAMARA]
Look who's with her -- Oh, my God!

[HEATHERS]
Dang! Dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!
Dang-dang! Diggety-dang-a-dang!

[VERONICA, spoken]
I can't believe you actually came

[MARTHA, spoken]
It's exciting, right? Excuse me, I want to say hello to Ram. I brought sparkling cider!

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Showing up here took some guts
Time to rip 'em out

[HEATHER DUKE]
Well, who's this pig remind you of?
Especially the snout

[HEATHER CHANDLER]
Hah!

[HEATHERS]
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang!

[MARTHA, spoken]
Hi, Ram! I wasn't gonna come, but since you took the trouble to write that sweet note…

[RAM, spoken]
What note? Why d'you gotta be so weird all the time? People wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal... There's no alcohol in this. Are you trying to poison me?

[KIDS]
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Diggety-dang-a-dang!

The folks are gone
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
We're up till dawn
Having some big fun! Big fun!
So let the speakers blow
They'll buy another stereo
Our folks got no clue
'Bout half the shit their children do
Why are they surprised?
Whenever we're unsupervised
It's big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!
Whooo!