[RAM'S DAD, spoken]
You wait just a minute, Paul! It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!
They were not dirty!
They were not wrong!

(sung)
They were two lonely verses
In the Lord's great song!

[KURT'S DAD, spoken]
Our boys were pansies, Bill!

[RAM'S DAD]
Yes!
My boy's a homosexual
And that don't scare me none—
I want the world to know...
I love my dead gay son!

(spoken)
I've been thinking. Praying. Reading some magazines. And it's time we opened our eyes!

(sung)
Well, the good Lord made gay penguins
And gay bonobo chimpanzees
I’ve seen gay lions show their pride in documentaries
If nature gets her orders
Handed down from god above
Then animal or human
You can’t help the one you love
They were not dirty—
They were not fruits!
They were just two strong laces in the Lord's big boots
Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one
[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]
But now I've learned to love…

[RAM’S DAD]
I love my dead gay son!

[CONGREGATION]
He loves his son
He loves his son
His dead gay son!

[RAM'S DAD]
Now, I say my boy's in heaven!
And he's tanning by the pool
The cherubim walk him and him, and Jesus says it's cool!
They don't have crime or hatred, there's no bigotry or cursin' -
Just friendly fellows dressed up like their fav'rite Village Person!
They were not dirty—

[CONGREGATION]
Whoa!

[RAM’S DAD]
They just had flair!

[CONGREGATION]
Whoa!
[RAM’S DAD]
They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair
Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun

[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]
But now I've learned to love…

[RAM’S DAD]
And furthermore!
These boys walked hand in hand!
These boys, they took a stand!
They could not wait
One second longer to be free!
They cast off their disguise
No shame, no compromise!
Paul, I can't believe that you
Still refuse to get a clue
After all that we been through—

(spoken)
I'm talkin’ you and me!
(CONGREGATION gasp)
In the summer of '83!
(CONGREGATION gasp again)

[KURT'S DAD, spoken]
That was one hell of a fishing trip
[CONGREGATION]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
They were not dirty—
Whoa!
And not perverse—
No, no!
They were just two shiny rhinestones
On the Lord's big purse!

[BOTH DADS]
Our job is now continuing the work that they begun!

[CONGREGATION]
'Cause now we love, love, love!
We love your dead—

[RAM’S DAD]
They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!
They grab a mate
And roller skate
While Judy Garland sings!
They live a joyful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!
They swing upon the pearly gates—
And wear a pearly necklace!

[CONGREGATION]
Whoo!

[BOTH DADS]
They were not dirty!

[CONGREGATION]
No!

[BOTH DADS (CONGREGATION)]
They were good men! (Whoa!)
And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!

[BOTH DADS]
Go forth and love each other now
Like our boys would have done

[ALL]
We'll teach the world to love...

[BOTH DADS overlapping with congregation]
I love my dead gay son!
My son! My son!

[CONGREGATION]
Not half bad, your dead gay son!
Wish I had your dead gay son!
Thank you, dad, for your...

[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]
Dead! Gay! Son!