As I did walk by Hampstead Fair
I came upon Mother Goose
So I turned her loose--
She was screaming
And a foreign student said to me
Was it really true
There are elephants, lions too
In Piccadilly Circus?

Walked down by the bathing pond
To try and catch some sun
Saw at least a hundred school girls
Sobbing into handkerchiefs as one
I don't believe they knew
I was a schoolboy

And a bearded lady said to me
If you start your raving
And your misbehaving
You'll be sorry
And the chicken fancier came to play
With his long red beard
And his sister's weird--
She drives a lorry

Laughed down by the putting green
I popped 'em in their holes
Four and twenty labourers were labouring
And digging up their gold
I don't believe they knew
That I was Long John Silver
Saw Johnny Scarecrow make his rounds
In his jet black mac
Which he won't give back--
Stole it from a snowman
As I did walk by Hampstead Fair
I came upon Mother Goose
So I turned her loose--
She was screaming

Walked down by the bathing pond
To try and catch some sun
Must have been least a hundred school girls
Sobbing into handkerchiefs as one
I don't believe they knew
I was a schoolboy