I have been a washer up and he has been a scrubber up
And I seen him a picking up dog ends in the rain
And he has never read a book though I told him to take a look
He lifted his pool hall cue for another game

But it ain't no modern miracle
That we found the golden rule
What you can't buy you gotta steal
And what you say can't steal, you better leave

I don't like to hang about in this lonely room
Cause London is for going out and trying to hear a tune
But people come pouncing up to me and say, what are you doing here?
You're supposed to be a star, not a cheapskate bleeding queer

Like a load of rats from a sinking ship
You slag us down to save your hip
But you don't give me the benefit of your doubt
Cause I'll bite it off and spit it out

We're cheapskates, anything'll do
We're cheapskates, what are we supposed to do?
And we can rock, hey hey, let's roll
And we can walk and do the stroll

Just because we're in a group, you think we're stinking rich
And we all got model girls shedding every stitch
And you think the cocaine's flowing like a river up our noses
And every sea will part for us like the red one did for Moses
Well, I hope you make it one day
Just like you always said you would someday
And I'll get out my money and make a bet
That I'll be seeing you down the launderette

We're cheapskates, anything'll do
We're cheapskates, what are we supposed to do?
And we can rock, hey hey, let's roll
And we can walk and do the stroll