Bill Wurtz
​hi, i’m steve
STEVE: Hi, I'm Steve. I drive a car. It's in a tree.

Just kidding, my name's not Steve.


NOT STEVE: I'm filing for an extension for my taxes because I didn't pay them and I'm not going to.


CHORUS: 'Cause that's the way I like to live my life, and I feel like everything's gonna be fine!


(screen says the next day)


NOT STEVE: I'm skipping work again. That's because I don't have a job.

The mailman was late today, and she was actually a woman, and she said,


MAILMAN: That's the way I like to live my life, and I know that everything's gonna be just fine.


(screen shows the mountains)


NOT STEVE: I don't remember why I first saw the mountains, but they've always been here.
Now that I'm seeing them, I'm wondering why they're there.

But they're here.

I can't climb them. But I can.


CHORUS: 'Cause that's the-


PIGEON: Hey, here's the mail:


NOT STEVE: Dear Steve-

That's not my name, but whatever.


LETTER:
Dear Steve,

How did you climb this mountain?


NOT STEVE: Well, I'm glad you asked that! It's part of a two-step program.
Find the mountain, climb the thing.


CHORUS: That's the way we can get things done and that's how I do it.
It's easy and simple 'cause you know what to do.


(It starts to rain)


(5-day forecast shows that it's raining all day)


STEVE: Bye, I'm Steve.