NARRATOR: Soap tips.
Things you can do with soap, or ways to use soap.
Buy soap.
Get it from the store, or just rent it.
Take it home, wash your house!
Invite some friends over, talk about soap. They're not interested in soap. That's too bad!
Move to Canada. You can wash Canada! Nope, it's already clean.

[Synth background music plays for five seconds]
NARRATOR: I wonder if soap comes from the natural process of evolution, or if it was a gift from God?

NARRATOR: Knock knock, it's the soap gods!
SOAP GODS: Quick survey about the soap:
How are you liking the soap so far?
NARRATOR: It's okay.
SOAP GODS: That's good. We're gonna make more of it, except you will like it more because it will taste better and be more addictive.

CHORUS: Let's go to Africa and find love in the jungle!
[Synth-soul music plays for six seconds]
NARRATOR: Found it! I also found some soap.

NARRATOR: Part 2. Advanced Techniques.
Teleport some soap. Teleport yourself and leave the soap where it is.
Try this one: You can walk 100 miles and the soap will be there when you get there because you sent it through the postal system.

NARRATOR: Oh no, it's a natural disaster!
[Seawater ambient sounds]
NARRATOR: I wonder what would happen if you took soap and combined it with soap and merged their properties and characteristics? It's something to think about.
NARRATOR: Anyway, I hope you like my video.
[Synth outro music]