Bill Wurtz
Wild Frolicking Adventures of Informational Education
The video opens with a lightbulb flashing "wfaoie", and then switches to the title of the video in alternating fonts.
NARRATOR: Got a map. I love these things.
Let’s look at Greenland. It’s made of ice, it could melt, that would be pretty interesting--
CHORUS: I'm getting ahead of myself!
NARRATOR: If someone tells you they live in Greenland, they probably live in its capital city, Nuuk.
CHORUS: Nuuk!
NARRATOR: There's a school, a bus, a mall, a church, and a very wavy building to do concerts.
HANS EGEDE: I'll be up here on a pedestal holding my stick.
CHORUS (as Hans): I'm the founder! He's the founder!
HANS EGEDE: Guess where I’m from! That’s right, I came here to make everyone Christian. Someone did that before but it wore off
so, I came here to do it again. It was a smashing success and now I’m a statue in three places.
NARRATOR: Wanna know more about Greenland? Too bad, I’m going to tell you about Mexico.
[Interlude]
NARRATOR: Used to be bigger. Let’s go to Clipperton, never mind there’s nobody there. But there’s boobys if you’re interested!
The capital of Mexico is Mexico City. Seems plausible.
CHORUS: But wait, its Aztec!
NARRATOR: That’s true, before Europe invaded, the Aztec capital of the world was right there.
CHORUS: But then Cortés came and smashed it.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, still unsmashed is the Inca empire. A very powerful and unique empire. No wheels in this empire, very powerful nonetheless. Until, Fransísco Pízarro--
CHORUS: Came and smashed it.
NARRATOR: Join me now as I sail over the Andes mountains and contemplate the vast spiritual emptiness of doing a video without a topic. Surely, I’ve frolicked too hard. I shall search for my
punishment. Here’s Antarctica, they must have lots of punishments there.
Narrator arrives at an embassy in Antarctica.
NARRATOR: Yes, hello I’d like to be punished.
SECRETARY: Do you have an appointment?
NARRATOR: No, I was just in the neighborhood and then--
Narrator gets punished.
NARRATOR: Hooray! Well, I guess that concludes this episode.
And I know I forgot to talk about Velcro, but we’ll mention that in another episode.
The outro music plays as the words on the screen read "science, engineering, technology, coherent topics."