Bill Wurtz
​i like to wear soft clothing (cause it makes me feel like i’m rough in comparison)
[Verse 1]
I like to wear soft clothing
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm rough in comparison
Don't have to wear a helmet
'Cause my soft clothes protect me
From my feelings, yeah
Switched on the TV
And it's broken
Thinkin' why didn't I know this?
And my heart is frozen
My mind is open
No one knows this
No, no, nobody knows it
Except for you, 'cause I just told you

[Verse 2]
I listen to soft music
'Cause it makes me want to start a war against angrier music
Thinkin' bang boom I win!
Got the gold medal, but it's just pretend
And it might be a losing medal for losers

[Chorus]
Wait, no, stop the show
Turn the lights on in the front row
Is that you on the stage?
It's the first show of the day
And the show will not be late
I know that the show will change
It's the first note of the tune
It's ringing out like a new pair of shoes
I'll run to you
I belong to you
[Verse 3]
I like to wear so—, I like to wear soft clothing
'Cause it makes my friends perceive me much more tenderly
I got friends! They're pretty friendly
I wrote a book about friendship
And my friends like to read it
And they're impressed by the number of pages it has, yeah
Walk the cat, I walk my cat
Then the cat can walk me back
I'm a fool
Like a fool, I'm foolish
Like a fool, I get fooled when something cool is on the news
Turn on the news
I get turned on by the news
'Cause the news gets more views
Whenever there's cool news

[Chorus]
Shh, shh, be very quiet
Sing it too loud, then nobody likes it
There's a rule on the stage
Don't be cruel on stage
It's the fourth show of the day
The first three went away
I know that the show has changed
'Til the next note of the tune
We'll sing it out like a new pair of shoes
I'll run to you
I'll come to you
[Outro]
Soft clothing is so untouchable
Especially when it's juxtaposed with
Clothes of different roughnesses
Ugh, I'm gonna be sick