[Intro: Jeremy Dooley]
It's time for a Rooster Teeth Throwdown
In this corner, Podcast King Gus
And in this corner, Mad King Ryan
Rappers ready, throwdown

[Verse 1: Podcast King Gus Sorola]
Bow down while in the presence of Gus Sorola the grand
Ruler, leader, overseer of the Podcast Land
I'm judge and jury of the jeering jestures crowding my set
So crossing laws I've listed out is a cross you'll regret
Your mini-mutiny means nothing to my monarchical might
I conquer distant foreign planets for no reason but spite
Your tyranny is made of cows, chicken, sheep, and the meek
I rule the whole internet and prove it every single week
Keep lounging in your throne while I'm out taking action
Foiling Fulcrum's plans and leaving Flatbush flattened
You can keep all your comics and your internet fame
You might be a decent player but I invented this game
Tilt that crown back up so it won't cover your eyes
I want it perfectly clear you're just a king in disguise
Your fame is made of lies so here's something to trust
Victory is starring Gus, Gus, and special guest Gus, "King"

[Verse 2: Mad King Ryan Haywood]
All hail! The Mad King is stepping back to his throne
You're an inside joke while I made leadership home
You think flexing your power is sending people away?
You just make people think twice while I make them obey
So prepare for a future I have carefully planned
Where "Give me your milk" isn't my only demand
So who do you fight with all that power you have?
While I'm busy causing chaos for X-Ray and Vav
I'm a maniacal maker of major malice and mischief
Inspired monarchs and mythos
Meaning to make masks of mystifying
Ambitious, deliciously injudicious
And vicious display
That all men will call the Mad King Ryan malicious
Being a leader's what I file under my expertise
I'm a master of men, you're a master of cheese
I think you've had enough of your royalty thrills
You have a goat that flies? I have a cow that kills
[Verse 3: Podcast King Gus Sorola]
Hold tight "Mad King" cause you're in for a ride
When I drop your ass faster than a German slide
You're a mockery of everything that I represent
Evil, childish, and cruel and they still call you a Gent?
I'm living and loving the legacy that I've led
Scraping peasants like you off the drunk tank's treads
I'm a noble king mixed with Mexican flair
Are you a king at all? Well that's still in the air

[Verse 4: Mad King Ryan Haywood]
Game over
I'm the best king that's ever been set
Feel like playing a game? I built Russian Roulette
I'm a legend ruling you like I'm ruling this rhyme
Trap your ass with a maze and a beast I designed
I'm called the Mad King and I earned that role
By trapping cows and men in inescapable holes
Your strict demeanor's striking me as odd
When you're just a king bowing to a Dark God