DAVID:
I hope this won’t sound impolite
Or come across as too forthright
But even though you seem alright, I...
Think I’m better than you!

Now please do keep this thought in mind
That’s just my personal conviction
You’re smart and fun, you’re sweet and kind
I’d call our friendship an addiction

Your shoes are shined, your breath: dulce
But still I find I have to say, I…
Think I might be better than you!

DANIEL:
You seem impressed with what you’ve shown
But I don’t find it that compelling
You’ve sung my praise but not your own
And well, I think that’s pretty telling

But while we’re on the subject of
How I’m superb and leagues above, you
Ought to know I’m number one

I know that might be hard to swallow
This hurts you just as much as me
But when this song is sung then you and I’ll know
That you’re just a nobody
DAVID:
Well friend I don't know what to say

DANIEL:
Try starting with your resignation

DAVID:
Let's end this in the finale

DANIEL:
I'm dying from anticipation

DAVID and (DANIEL):
You’re really great, but let me state (You've been outdone)
You denigrate and seem to hate (Now I've really won)
The fact I break to abdicate (But it was fun)
Before I can asphyxiate, I... (Your end's begun, and...)

Think I might be better than you! (Now I know I'm better than you!)
Don’t hate me because it’s true! (And I'll prove it to you, too!)

Just know, I'm better than.....
(So watch as I identify
The skill to show I qualify
Like keeping up this camp charade
And tricking kids to drink kool-aide
To sacrifice them--)