Well I'll be damned
No I won't be damned
Because I have been damned
And I won't be damned anymore!
I walked out
He didn't walk out
It was me who walked out
It was me closing the door

"hello, operator? " I'd like to place a long distance call to a mr
Billy rose in cleveland ohio. at the cleveland hotel. um, no, no, no
No. I'll wait."

Billy's an alley cat that's for sure
Nick's from a horsier class
But I'd rather be with a cat's meow
Than a genuine thouroughbred horse's ass!

"um, that's alright. no. no message. thank you."

One is fantasy, one is real
One is make believe, one is real
One is picture book
More like comic book
One is real
Billy is real
I should have seen that before
All my life on the stage
I'm a big success
All my life off the stage
What a mess!
Oh what a mess!
All my life on the stage
How they cheer the clown
All my life off the stage
I kept closing out of town

When I'm up there I'm a great big star
And I get the heftiest lift
Howdy-do!
Up there I'm a great big star
A solid and qualified hit
I'm gonna take what I do up there
And I'm gonna do it down here!

Quick as a lightning flash
I'm moving straight ahead
I'm gonna be a smash
I'm gonna knock 'em dead...