[spoken]
This next song is from a record breaking show
I like to do things from record breaking shows
And this one is a record breaking show
It lasted nine previews and one performance
It was called 'Another Evening with Harry Stoones'
No wonder, huh?
Anyway
This is the song from it

[sung]
Call me a boob
Call me a schlemiel
Call me a brain with a missing wheel

Call me what you will
But the nonetheless I'm still
In love with Harold Mengert
And it's not because he has a car
Arnie Fleischer has a car
But a car is just a car
And if Harold didn't have a car to his name
I guess I'd love him just the same

Call me what you will
But the nonetheless I'm still
In love with Harold Mengert
And it's not because he has a wealthy family
Arnie Fleischer has a wealthy family
But money isn't everything
And if Harold didn't have a dime to his name
I know I'd love him just the same
But sometimes I ask myself, why then
Do I then love Harold Mengert?
Harold isn't handsome, or clever, or smart
And I don't find romance set to dance in his heart
The only answers I can think of are
Harold Mengert's money and Harold Mengert's car

Call me what you will
But the nonetheless I'm still
In love with Heshy Mengert

[spoken]
Also Arnie Fleischer