[Intro]
In this song, I attempt to do two things
Firstly, I try to stress the importance of the home and the family
I feel they're terribly important
And secondly
I try to stress the fact that the theory of gravity is a lot of nonsense
I will now sing "Gravity Begins At Home"

[Verse 1]
Peel your mother from off the ceiling
Set her down gently onto the floor
Scrape your father from off the ceiling
Set him up with a whisky or four

[Chorus]
For gravity begins at home, my brother
Gravity begins at home

[Verse 2]
Pay no attention when apples fall up from trees
Pay no attention when elephants hover like wasps

[Chorus]
For gravity begins at home, my brother
Gravity begins at home
[Verse 3]
Look at my auntie floating at the chandelier, the dear
Fetch her a ladder before she gets any madder

[Chorus]
For gravity begins at home, my brother
Gravity begins at home

[Verse 4]
Pay no attention when octopi fly in the sky
Just keep your balance with Scotch, Irish bourbon and Rye

[Chorus]
For gravity begins at home, my brother
Gravity begins at home, my sister

[Post-Chorus]
Gravity begins at home

[Outro]
I should like to acknowledge before I leave this song
A debt, to my wife, she was responsible for the lines
"Fetch her a ladder before she gets any madder"