[Verse 1]
I remember when it all went wrong
Guzzling eggnog all night long
We went outside, the snow was thick
Rolled our balls together made a snowman quick
Erecting a friend, but there's something left
Had to indulge in some carrot theft
To make him whole, we raided the salad bowl
To give him a classic nose
I slipped and fell when I put it on
Stuck the veg' where it didn't belong
I went for his face but hit below the waist
And now he's got a root vegetable dong

[Chorus]
He's got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock!)
And it gives you quite a shock (Oh, it's unexpected)
When you see it in the flesh, so orange and so fresh
Looks like its just been pulled from the ground
He's got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock!)
It's the biggest on the block (Oh, what a massive one)
The neighbours were upset; my dad saw it as a threat
It stood so mighty and so proud
So mighty and so proud

[Verse 2]
Some kind of magic happened then (Woah-oh-oh!)
He came alive, and he was real my friend (He was real my friend)
An excited expression twinkled in his eyes
We looked on in surprise as it started to rise
Scarf around his neck, his arms are made of bark
Get down on your knees; he'll help you see in the dark
He has a filthy addiction, veg'-on-veg' friction
Behind the bushes down in the park
He's got many dirty habits and is terrified of rabbits
He'll make you moan; he's organically grown
[Chorus]
He's got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock)
You know it's hard as rock (Oh, what a crunchy cock!)
He's got coal on his head, no meat but one veg' (Ooh-ooh)
He's packing so much more than just snow (Ho, Ho, Ho!)
He's got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock)
But his life's against the clock (Such a crying shame)
Because as the sun rose, they'd gritted the road
All was left was his bright amber chode

[Bridge]
You'll remember this December when you dream of his member
Now all that's left is his salty sludge
Next time it snows, you all will know
He's coming on you from above
He's just snowing you all of his love

[Chorus]
He's got a carrot for a cock (Carrot for a cock)
He's a friend you just can't knock (Oh, we want him back!)
So when it gets chilly, just whip out his willy
Scoop up snow, and he's ready to go
They've all got carrots for their cocks (They've got carrots for their cocks!)
A movement you can't stop (It's a revolution)
To make a best friend, just follow this trend (Ooh-ooh)
Give him a vegetable bellend
Carrot for a cock, yeah!