[Verse 1: Sips]
It's Christmas Eve, bro. At SipsCo. HQ
I'm all alone here, just like every year
I pour myself a drink, a pint of mountain dew
I raise my glass up high, and toast our old friend Guy

Oh, who's that bearded one. Outside, dressed like a bum
My God, it's freezing, but he's not squealing
He's got a plan I see, to build a factory
Won't make it on his own, well I can change that...

[Verse 2: Sjin, Sips & Both]
We'll have girls big as cars, and a pool full of cash
No, the fun never ends, throw your fears in the trash
When the first block of dirt leaves the factory floor
They'll be crying and begging and screaming for morе

We can do it! Hooray!
Best dirt evеr made
In a rainbow of flavours from bacon to lime
The best Christmas ever, shame about the weather
We'll hang tinsel and baubles and drink some mulled wine!

[Chorus: Everyone]
Pool boys from the interview chamber choir'll
Be singing; "SipsCo., hooray!"
And the dirt will ship on out on Christmas Day
[Verse 3: Sjin & Sips]
There's monsters about, and the power is out
The roof isn't done and it's covered in grime
There's a fire and a flood, and I'm covered in blood
SipsCo. Christmas, my arse, we won't finish on time!

[Chorus: Everyone]
Pool boys from the interview chamber choir
Still singing; "SipsCo., hooray!"
But no dirt is shipping out on Christmas Day

[Bridge]
Hey guys, you need a hand? Well let's reform the band!
I'll build this factory, with new technology!
This dirt is super pure! One hundred percent, I'm sure
Come have a drink in here, the finest SipsCo. dirt beer

[Chorus: Everyone:]
Pool boys from the interview chamber choir
Were singing; "SipsCo., hooray!"
And the dirt was shipping out on Christmas Day!

[Outro (Spoken): Sips, Lewis, Simon & Duncan]
Thanks a lot everybody, Merry Christmas!
Thankyou so much! We love you!
Oh, glad we made it. (Close-run thing there)
Ah, Sips. You did it man, you did it
(Congrats man, hooray)
Everyone, charge your glasses
This is a toast (It's charging, it's charging!)
(Charged!) Not with electricity, Duncan
Y-you're supposed to fill it with your beverage of choice
Put that laser away! (Gives it an extra zing!)
You're gonna set everything on fire
Bloody maniac. I know it's cold, but c'mon!
Okay, now, are you ready? Are you done? (Yeah!)
A-a toast! To-to Sips! And his... Dirt!
Hooray! Hooray!
Sips and his dirt yay!
Ah, well done man, you did it
Oh, this is delicious
There's gonna be a lot of happy children
Unwrapping their presents
And- With a dirt block, just there
Don't take batteries though, so at least that's something, you know
The naughty children get coal, but the good children-
*Laughter*
-they get dirt. How does that work?
Oh my God
So the really, really naughty children
Will get like, gold or something according to this?
Nah they get some pig shit
*Laughter* Wow. Oh, yeah
Lovely. Oh, that was amazing
Okay, let's just do one more