Clayton Jennings
Dying to See
Let me tell you what you need to hear
Cause I need you close, I need you near
This really isn't the life for me
And I'm sorry I couldn't be everything I tried to be
I'll never reach the potential of what I could likely be
And if someone's holding me back, then it's likely me
Or it's something inside of me
You call it a demon, I call it anxiety
But it's a part of me, it's in charge of me
Taking up real estate in my head, but it's still charging me
I'm the point guard, but it's still charging me
DM's from teens cutting arteries, a picture of depression for artistry
Why the black heart emoji? It's the art in me
I hate these voices, don't start with me
I hate it here, but it's hard to leave
Let me tell you what you need to hear
Cause I need you close, I need you near
Mental health isn't visible, it's hard to see
I'm invisible to you, so pardon me
And they say Jesus pardoned me
Then why are these black clouds darkening?
And why do people listen to puddle deep content? Must be the marketing
And why are these arrows coming at me? Must be the mark on me
I'm a target now, I find it hard to breathe
It's hard to catch fresh air when the devil won't leave
Especially when he starts telling you he's got everything you need
I used to listen to your lies when you came for me
But you're dead to me, man, you died to me
I'm sorry I couldn't be the Christian I tried to be
But everything changed when the Spirit of God got inside of me
God's Son, He's alive in me
So I'mma live for You since You died for me
And if I die tomorrow and pass too early, shout out to every person who'll cry for me
Just know I'm past the pearlies 'cause the Spirit of God lives inside of me
Trying to come up for breath 'cause I'm dying to breathe
What comes after death, man? I'm dying to see