You ever wonder what this all means? I do, a lot
And the faster time flies, the more I wish it would stop
Sometimes I wish so hard the world would stop spinning and let me off
But you're supposed to love life when you're finally on top
But I'm tryna figure out what being on top even means
Because the bigger I get, the more lonely life seems
You probably think the spotlight is awesome and there's warmth in these light beams
I hate it
But I still find a release in my writings
So I write, and I write, and I write some more
I spent the summer of 2009 in my bedroom without touching the door
My friends thought I was upset
The doctors thought I was depressed
I was chasing a dream, I didn't know it'd come true and I'd wake up with a thousand pounds of stress on my chest
Nobody cared, and they said it wouldn't happen
Now I'm twenty-eight, and I've lived a life that most couldn't imagine
But they try to
And they try to tell me how to live it
Rewind a few years ago, and nobody had love for the mission or kind words to give it
Now the same people hit up my phone like they lost my digits
What's funny is they still don't get it
I'm not a celebrity, I'm not rich
And all this popularity is stupid
But they see some online numbers and a few fans and fall in love like Cupid
You find out who your friends are, and lately I've found out I don't have many
You find out who the gossipers are, boy are there plenty
Is he in it for the money? Does he love the attention?
I hate it, and I cringe every time I hear my name mentioned
I just wanted to help a few people, lead them to Jesus, and plug them into a body under the steeple
But the people under the steeple seem to be the ones who dislike me the most
There are a lot of wolves in churches wearing sheepskin coats
And my dad always told me to focus on the faithful
But I don't even qualify for wearing that label
I found out that you're on the menu if you're not sittin' at the table
But you can keep your tables and conversations and doubt
Jesus found me when I was on my way out
And now I'm trying to tell the world what Jesus is all about
Some love it, and some hate it
Some degrade it, others praise it
But it's all worth it for the bullied kid who sits alone in his room, finds my messages, and plays it
And once he hears the Gospel message, he gets alone with Jesus and prays it
And for the first time, he takes his depression to the cross, lays it, and leaves it
And he sends me a letter with tear stains, and I read it
And suddenly I'm able to see it
It's never been about me
And I shouldn't care about the people who doubt me
It's not my aim to be loved
It's not my mission to be known
And I could care less if I never wake up to another text message on my phone
I don't need anybody but Jesus to bless these messages and put me in the zone
And when I'm in this state of determination
I promise you the only thing coming for hatred is extermination
I have no love for Christians who live complacent
But jump on FaceBook and attack Christian leaders while hiding behind keyboards in their parents' basement
I'm out here spreading the Gospel while their lives are being wasted
This isn't an argument I'm starting
You wolves wrote those articles
You're jealous haters, just face it
You're failed preachers and teachers who were never called so you never made it
You have zero credibility so it's not like I can even take it
But please stop calling yourselves Christians
We know you fake it
Jesus said you'll know them by their love, but we don't see any
Satan is marked by hatred, and boy do we see plenty
I can't believe I'm even writing about my haters, your opinions aren't worth pennies
And a Honda Civic doesn't belong in the same showroom as a Bentley
I know who sent me, and I know who sent you
And when you write about me, you don't know a single thing I've been through
I've walked through the storms and kept walking even when the lightning flashed and the wind blew
You're children, and you have no understanding of what men do
Keep blogging and keep attacking
Your serious insecurities have all of us laughing
You're so out of touch that you probably think I'm rapping
But I can diss you as a poet
You want popularity so bad, and you know it
You're just children who never grew up
And you try to attack anyone who blew up
But you need to slow up and grow up
It's funny that you blog a lot but never show up
And if you can't tell already, for people who use the name of Jesus to spread hate, I have no love
I pray for the same people who'll hear this and attack this
Just like I pray Westboro Baptist gets blown off the atlas
You're the same people who hold up signs with the word "faggot"
If Jesus was here to see your movement of hate, He'd blast it
You took a loving religion and trashed it
There are a lot of satans in the church who can't mask it
We need to call them out and attack it
Find out what they're doing and slash it
And if you wanna send hate this way, you might as well pass it
I'll just alley-oop it for another basket
Because I consider your slander and persecution as points
And I know the envy you have for us deep in your joints
And you're so desperate for attention that you keep making noise
You're kids on a playground, and blogging is your toy
But the next time you call me a false teacher
Remember you're false about this preacher
I'm on the field fighting while you write from the bleachers
So keep using my name to get views on your features
You're irrelevant haters just like your readers
You know nothing of the family of God or true believers
You're just lonely losers who never made it as leaders
But I'll just keep walking and shake the dust off my feet
You online bullies rip everyone so don't step in the kitchen if you can't take the heat
Good luck in the shadows of your basement
God knows we never see you in the streets
And God knows we won't see you in Heaven
There were twelve disciples, without Judas' like you, there are only eleven
God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh
If He created the world in six days, He can destroy yours in seconds
You're just angry peasants, and nobody notices your presence
You're looking for a home to take up residence
But the body of Christ isn't home for you
Because we know what you're known to do
You come to destroy and devour
You hide behind your computers like cowards
You wanna silence me, so instead, I'll just get louder and louder
I'll just keep preaching for the world and God's glory
You'll just keep hanging out online while after you're forty