I feel the waves every time I wake up
They keep telling me to pay up
Like I owe them something and can't get rid of the debt
I find myself curled up at the end of my bed
And half the time, I wake up in a puddle of sweat
Nobody told me life was gonna be like this
Holes in the wall and bloody fists
Quick fix books, "Here Clayton, just read this"
I'd rather rip out your pages and burn them in fire
For the depressed people out there, I know that I'm just preaching to the choir
I swear sometimes this monster takes me right down to the wire
And all that keeps me from stepping over is fear of the other side
I'm as bold as a lion until it comes to follow through with suicide
But I go to sleep somedays and pray I die
I'm not ashamed to say I've tried
I just couldn't finish the job
I guess you could say it was my own grave that I robbed
I became a gravedigger the moment I took my finger off the trigger
The thought of my weakness makes me bitter
I was eighteen then, and now I'm twenty-nine
They said someday I'd wake up and I'd feel fine
They're liars
And every one of them fed me false hope
I just keep floating away into these waves of loneliness like a lost boat
And every time I try to fight the tides, another part of me dies
And another part of me realizes that life isn't what they said it would be
"American Dream" is no hope for the dead in the streets
And you can't tell me to strap up my boots when you've never walked in my shoes
And you can't tell me how to live this when you said I would lose
Because for every person who doubted me and stood against me
I left you on the curb like I was on a 10-speed
And they keep calling me the next Billy Graham, and I think it's silly
Because I've always hung out with drug dealers tryna sell a gram and cash a billy
But my name spread from LA to south Philly
And from Detroit down to hot-city
I just thank God for the Tell The World family who got with me
I do this for the people who stand in lines for hours at a time
Just to say hello or hand me something to sign
You are no friends of mine
You are family, and that's never gonna change
You held it down for me before any blog sites knew my name
And you spread my work, and you grew my fame
But I was never on a mission to make myself known
I was in this to reach that one lost bullied kid punked and alone
To tell him or her that they have purpose on their lives
I've tried to be your protector from the Devil's lies
But there have been times when I've seen the Devil's eyes
And he keeps telling me how much he hates me
And I smile back because that punk won't phase me
My momma raise a warrior, and I'd rather die than be lazy
So I burned up the couch, and I set fire to complacency
Now I have a million people praising me
And sometimes I feel like they don't get it
So let me be the first to admit it
This life isn't about me, and I don't want your praise
And I don't want your money or your promotions or your raise
I turned down 200,000 when the Devil tried to get me to sell out
And I bucked the old-heads in the church when they told me to get the hell out
I don't think you get it but soon enough you will
I came into this thing hungry, and I still haven't gotten my fill
And if you wanna shut me up, you're gonna have to slit my throat and burn scars on my tongue
Because the Tell The World movement is far from done