We haven't talked in a while, so I figured I'd say hey
I don't know why it's so hard for me to be real every time that I pray
Maybe I'll wake up from this nightmare I'm trapped in someday
But until then, it's just back to the same
Quick prayers passed up ended "in Jesus name"
If you have spiritual advice for me, please refrain
But if you have love for me, then please remain
'Cause God knows I could really use a friend right now
I'd climb up out of this pit, but I don't know how
And it seems like every time that I've tried, I've fell back in
Hate the regret that comes after, but I love the sin
I get insecure when I get praised by men
Most of the time I think they're just pretending to be my friend
Like my toys as a kid that I put batteries in
They want money now, AA's back then
Get some popularity and along come the friends
Lost in this fog, can't figure out which day I'm in
Like some sort of demented daze I'm in
You can't play an instrument as well as I play this pen
And the ink is my soundwaves, and the page is my platform
Maybe he didn't realize swallowing a bottle of Aspirin would be bad for him
Voices in my ear telling me not to pin this
Protect your following, man, don't risk it
If I stop writing poetry today, would you miss it?
Would you miss me?
Or am I just some voice in your headphones, another pretty face on your screen
If you put me on a pedestal, just know everything isn't as grand as it seems
A penny for your thoughts, they offer grands to me
My following will probably triple on the gram when I leave
I tried helping people but got smoked like rolled weed
I watched my face shift shapes and I scream
Screenplay for a life, but I don't like to play on this screen
Anxiety has me dreaming up ways of escaping this scene
I'm not like my peers, I'm not afraid to say what I think
Up-down-up, man this can't be me
God, if You can hear me, then please set me free
And if You won't, just please let me leave
'Cause I'm tired of the nightmares and the fears I've been fed
It takes everything I have to pull myself up out of bed
Give me back my sanity and get out of my head
If the choirs gonna sing, then give me a rose, make it red
Peeling out under green lights, they left me on red
Same people who'll say they loved me are the same people who left me on read
Phone rings a lot now from people who used to never answer
This platform is pointless, this pressure is cancer
Don't believe every story you're told or lie that is spread
Remember the way I got treated when I was alive after I'm dead
Play my poetry for the people, and let 'em know the words that I said
'Cause nobody realizes it's a masterpiece until the artist is dead