Here I am again, broken and ashamed
I don't wanna see another mirror or hear another audible proclamation of my name
Because if you could see me right now, your impressive thoughts about my spirituality just wouldn't be the same
And I'm afraid that this time I walked a little bit too far away
That I crossed some sort of invisible line or so say the voices of doubt in my mind
But I looked, and I can't find
Because I'm so blind
I'm so lost, and I'm so sorry
Because I walked away again
Because I didn't love You as much as I love my sin
Because my faith is weak and my skin is thin
And every time I look in a mirror, I wanna spit because all I see is a Godless boy among Godly men
Do you ever wonder why You even love me?
Because I wonder why You love me all the time
I wonder what You see in me when I cross Your mind
Because all I see is a sinful mess bound to be another letdown
Destined to say I'm sorry again with my head down
Because this world looks so good with a pretty girl on a sleepless night
But now I have sleepless nights and secret fights
All because selfishly I set my sights on self-satisfaction
It's crazy how you can damage your life from a number on a napkin
3-6-5 is what she wrote, I don't care to remember the rest
'Cause those first three digits hit me like a slug to the chest
'Cause I'm one year older and closer to death
So all I can say right now is that I need You
I need You like a drought needs the rain
I need You like a winter storm needs the warmth of summer rays
I need You like an orphaned child needs his dad's embrace
I need You
I wanna look in the mirror and see Your face
I wanna feel Your grace
Because this is not my home, I was made to be with You somewhere out past outer space
I'm an astronaut so bound to this world I feel out of place
But if that's the case
Then why does this world feel so good with every lust-filled taste?
And I preach Jesus, but I deny You to Your face
I'm painfully aware of the perpetual stare in the mirror of a pale-faced kid
Who wouldn't dare deny You with my lips but rather with my care
Because I don't care
I wanna look like I love You more than I wanna love You
I'd rather talk about You than live like You
Praise You but not pivot and purposely present myself before You with purity because I'm passive
I care more about keeping up a fake vision of tradition so lost in religion
That I forgot it's about a relationship
A relationship that in my schedule I could never make fit
I just faked it, so many years wasted
I forgot about Your grace and the first time I tasted it
I chose everything else over the one thing that I needed
I chose this world over Jesus, bondage over freedom
So now I can't help but wonder
What do you think when you think of me?
I think that I made you in my image
And there's nothing that you could do or that you could say that would make me love you any less
Because my love for you is endless
I never said that you'd be able to be sinless
Because if you could be perfect, there'd be no need for the cross
I wouldn't have had to find you because you wouldn't have been lost
You would've been faithfully fellowshipping far from false promises of feel-good fantasies
Faithful instead of faithless
But you were sick, born with a disease
But it pleased me to be sin for you so you could be set free
Not just for today but for the rest of eternity
I took your hell
I took your place
Not that so you would wander down every alleyway trying to find satisfaction in every wicked way
It doesn't surprise me that you would try to find satisfaction in the arms of a stranger
But it didn't work
It damaged you, and it changed her
But what's even stranger
Is that a stranger would be born in a manger
Willing to take the full force of God's wrath and His anger
I hung naked, bloodied, and bruised on a cross for you
So that you could experience love, that you could experience life
So that you could be set free
So if you want me, you can have me
You can take me, and you can be holy as I am holy
But the decision rests solely on you
What will you do?