If you've ever felt like you're at war with the spiritual
Then you're not alone
My whole life I've been at war with something within
Depression, anxiety, they talk to me
And sometimes I talk back

I can feel a presence, it's rising in me
I shove the Devil back, quit lying to me
I conceal weapons for peasants dying to bleed
You took my life, my eyes, now I'm trying to see
Two Pit bulls alive inside fighting in me
Spirit and the flesh upset, both trying to breed
Heavеn and Hades, which is abiding in me?
Thirty-three, still a baby, I hide undеr sheets
Anxiety inside of me, alive underneath
I feel like Floyd, I'm dying to breathe
I'm so annoyed, suicidal, been trying to leave
Puking from pills, I'm sinking but still dry when I heave
Cascade my casket and cry while you grieve
Competition's the only group that will take a sigh of relief
'Til I come back and haunt 'em while I fly through the trees
Of All Saints Cemetary
Like the legendary Harry Carray
Helter Skelter preliminary
Face is pretty, mind is scary
When did mania and the demonic decide on getting married?
I'm putting these demons in the dirt, this time you're all getting buried
They rip me, shred me, tear me
Kid me, dead me, dare me
To play Russian roulette with this revolver
I'm rushin' to let myself out of the counsel of scoffers
Money, sex, and self, I've had so many offers
I hate the lies and these lonely nights
Depression morbidly disguised as the Lord of the Flies
But I'm just a maggot, I can't hack it
Thirty-three years of anxiety, I look back, and it's tragic
Thirty-three tears for the fears and the magic
Took friction to light me like a matchstick
On a mission to fight back against hasbeens
Never listen to critics, give no attention to trash bins
Blew past other poets, left 'em in the past tense
Grew up with a tense past
Grew up with a sick dad
MS memories from the past hit like whiplash
I scream at these thoughts, "Get back!"
I scream at these thoughts, "Get slapped!"
Jamie or junkies, I'd never risk that
A god and garbage are mismatched
No wonder you and me didn't last
Lucifer's a liar, I used to sing in her choir
Girls in designer can still have demons inside her
ValhLAHA's my destiny, I came out the fire
Your words don't impress me, I'm a wordsmith, a writer
Your words don't press me, I'm on fire, a fighter
I wake up, roll over, man, I'm sick to my stomach
Stumble to the bathroom, slump, and I vomit
Open my meds, if you name it, I'm on it
In denial, a goner, I'm on fire, need water
Bad person, bad husband, good father
Only alive 'cause I think of my daughter
Up-down-up, been known to teeter-totter
Hard to keep going, every day it gets harder
I love life, but I hate mine
I got to get better, it's about time
I got a fanbase growing from the north to the southside
Canceled suicides, saved lives
Forget the fame, man, that's always been the highlight
Forget my name, could care less about my life
Listen you liars, let this be a lesson
I'm done with this anxiety, goodbye to depression
Past for glasses, now it's all seethrough
Depression for a pistol, heart to conceal you
2020 vision, but I still couldn't see you
I hate you, I love you, could still never leave you
Because you tell me that you love me, and I somehow believe you