[Verse]
My mountains are Everest, my lows are Pacific
Bipolar specific, but sadly you'd never get it
Even if you were Egyptian and my poems were hieroglyphics
Pyro whenever I flow like a dragon in Cairo
You’d have to live it to get it
Always been different
Did my best just to fit in
Talk more than I listen
Had two pets, and I flipped 'em
Two birds to the system
Of this broken religion
Yeah, I'm flawed but a Christian
No thanks to tradition
Not a fan of religion
Tell the world, on a mission
Hundreds of millions have listened
Rolled the dice and just risked it
Three dices, all sixes
At nights when they visit
I keep a light, but I dim it
I’m alright, but I'm in it
Really just a misfit
Dying to end it
Final note, should I send it?
Unread letters in red
I wondered what would be said
"Bipolar affected his head"
What about the comments he read?
And all the lies that were spread?
I'm alive, never dead, I write with Lazarus lead
No emotion, just broken, I'm alone in this ocean
Does anyone notice?
Does anyone know his
Outlook is hopeless?
Out with the ropin'
Fastened to throat n'
You're laughin', I’m chokin’
Fascinate you for show n'
Time to couper the flow
Collapse on stage and just go
I vacillate between fast and slow
I’m passionate, but I start to grow
Elsa, I'm cold, frozen in snow
If I tell you I'm okay then I'm really just Pinocchio
So who’s my Geppetto?
Suicide squad before Jared Leto
Quite to you but loud in my head, though
Voices with refusal to mellow
Wrap my head in my pillow
I'm trapped inside these pill lows
I'm empty, but my bottle's refilled, though
God sent me here, how could I just go?
Got a daughter, how could I just blow
My brains all over my wife's clothes?
Wedding dresses, white clothes
Gossip online, another fleeting remark
Closest they'll get to meeting a star
Always a comet that takes it too far
So I slip, dip, duck, and cut the breaks on their car
"Look Arabelle, it's a shooting star!"
Watch you drive off the cliff from afar
"Hurry, make a wish", I just did
I wish for no more bullied kids
For no more trolls, no slit wrists
No more pills and overdosed kids
No more kills, it's overposted
No more pride, stop the boasting
No more lies, stop promoting
Everything that leads to fear, failure, and loathing
Everything that leads to death
Help the hurting? I've done my best
Hurt while helping? Answer's yes
So many regrets, can no longer express
Feeling the guilt from the carnage I've left
Carnivals for articles, I'm just a guest
But I'm a fake, a snake, a puppet at best
Never sleep soundly when I go to bed
Only hear the sound of burning bridges instead
So I lay there on that mattress
I self-sabotage for the masses
Set fire with these matches
Got talent no one matches
But maybe I just can't hack it
Not famous but not a has-been
Known all over the atlas
Abracadabra, right back at this
Some call it mania, some call it magic
But now I'm trapped in
Sinking, what's happening?
It's a nightmare, oh so sad to see
Some people only care about the bad in me
They hate me, why you so mad at me?
But they're captivated, so they can't leave
I'm not a net, so stop casting me
I'm not auditioning, you're not casting me
Usain, I bolt, you're not catching me
Was in a pill and a capsule like a casualty
Deacons infatuated with attacking me
Demons gather 'round to attach to me
Rearview mirror, I'm looking back to see
Everything I hated and had to leave
You can have my past, but you can't have me
Daggers to the back, and you watched me bleed
Staggered, never shattered, stood back to my feet
Been to Hell, been to Hades, never six feet deep
Billy Graham and Eminem, that's the mix in me
Which one am I becoming? That's the mystery
I've been dying to quit this show, man, my whole life's been a circus
Thirty-three years, and it's time to pull back the curtains
I'm talking back to this demon, I'm talking to you
I pray you die tonight and burn in Hell when you do
So which whip witch? Choose Uber or broom
Cross on my temple, my King's coming back soon
Rituals and voodoo, not a thing you can do
Time is running out, but there's still room
Indiana Jennings just blew up the Temple of Doom