Original Broadway Cast of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
My Friend, the Dictionary
[PANCH, spoken]
Miss Ostrovsky, your word is boanthropy.

[OLIVE, spoken]
Oh, wait. One second. Please, ma'am, could you not sit in that seat?

I saved a chair for my dad
In the fourth row on the aisle
And it may take him a while
But when he gets here, that's his chair

'Cause my mother's in an ashram in India
I saved a chair for her too
But it's merely symbolic
As daily she washes herself in the Ganges

And I live in a house
Where there's an oversized dictionary
That I read
As a girl
On the toilet

I love my dictionary
And I love the indented border
Every word's in alphabetical order
Ergo, lost things always can be found

And I wrap my head around
The fact that in one book
Is the entire language of our species
Which is a favorite term of Nietzche's
Who's the great-grandfather of Christina Ricci's
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Yes I joke, but the words in the dictionary
Are the friends that I'll have forever
More than the friends I have made in school
She's such a lovely girl
With a lovely little voice

And I heard that she's pro-choice
Though still a virgin

And she talks into her hand
An often used technique

What you do not understand
Is once I say it then I've said it

And so much to her credit
She talks into her hand and turns aside

So I will not make a mistake and be disqualified

Boanthropy. B-o-a-n-t-h-r-o-p-y? Boanthropy?
[PANCH, spoken]
That is correct

My (her) friend the dictionary
Is a very reliable friend

Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Bah dah dah dah dah dah dah